Cancer Free and heading back to Crossfit

OMGoodness what a whirl wind life has been.  After I was told I'd have to be on chemo for another year or so I really started digging into other options.  I found a local Mohs surgeon who was able to do my surgery in July and I was able to quit chemo for good.  It's been 2 1/2 months since then and my incision still hasn't completely closed up.  My body is VERY slow at healing itself due to the chemo.  I was told it could easily take a year for my body to heal itself from all the chemo side effects. 

I went up 3 sizes while on the meds but am down 2 so far.  I still get tired very easily, and also am struggling with migraines to bad they make my physically ill.  I'm anxious for life to get back to "normal".  I contacted my crossfit and will start back up on Monday Oct. 13th.  I'm super freaked out to be going back.  I feel like I've lost all the gains I made while there.  They keep telling me it shouldn't take more than 2-3 months to get back to where I was......I hope they're right! 

Chemo....moving on up!

It's been almost 4 weeks since starting my lower doses of chemo.  I'm finally up to half a pill a day.  I'm thrilled that the side effects have been pretty minimal.  The biggest hurdle has just been feeling so gosh darn tired all the time, but other than that, it's been great!

I looked at the tumors this morning after I showered and can see a significant difference in their size since the last time I saw the oncologist.  He said that I should see any further shrinking till I'm back up to a full dose, and yet he's wrong......again.  Normally you don't want your oncologist to be wrong, but in this case, I'm SUPER thankful he is.  =)

Our family has been getting showered with blessings this past month.  My parents and my brother each gave me $1000 to help with medical bills.  That pretty much got us up to date with what we owed the Dr.s thus far.  A few weeks ago some friends from high school dropped off three big boxes filled with tons of food, goodies to make chemo easier, and a gift cert for 4 full house cleanings by a professional. 

Then last week and this week our church got word of my diagnosis and people have been coming by dropping off dinners.  There is so much food in the house it's insane!  A lady from our church also knitted me a lap blanket to keep warm!

I'm completely overwhelmed by all the generosity shown to our family.  It's been mind blowing.  It's made me realize that when I'm over this life hurdle, I want to get more involved and help others as well.  Something as small as making a meal for someone can be such a huge blessing and I want to be a part of that. 

I see the oncologist on April 3rd and will report back when I've got some more info.

Starting chemo on Valentine's Day

What a whirl wind of life events!  Overall I think I'm in a really good place mentally.  I've accepted the prognosis and am looking forward to starting chemo so those tumors can start shrinking.  I live in a pretty small town in Idaho and we have one of the top 5 sarcoma oncologists in the nation literally 4 minutes from my house.  Praise the Lord!  Also I found some insurance that will be somewhat affordable.  We'll still have to pay about $10,000 in total costs, but considering my treatment will be at least 10 times that, I'm incredibly thankful!  I'm also thankful that I don't have itty bitty kids at home.  They will be gone at school for most of the day, so if I'm feeling icky or tired, I can rest without feeling guilty about ignoring them. I'm also thankful that I don't work.  Although we don't live in the lap of luxury, I choose to stay home with the kids as they grow up.  Because of that, I don't have to worry about missing work.  Many mommas have to work just to keep their families going month to month and that's not something I'll have to worry about. 

I've been doing a ton of thinking and so many people ask, WHY ME?, when something bad happens.  I don't really feel that way at all.  I figure life throws everyone curve balls once in a while and this time it's my turn.  I can be devastated by this cancer, or I can use it to be truly thankful for the good amazing things I do have.  I can really savor the small moments that so many of us overlook.  Maybe, just maybe, this cancer is a huge blessing in disguise. 

Some good news.....I was given three months of free chemo drugs.  Woot woot!  That's $30,000 worth!  Also the chemo I'll be on is a daily pill vs sitting in a depressing room with an IV in my arm.  This chemo is freaking amazing....it's the only one of it's kind and many Dr.'s refer to it as a silver bullet.  It sets it's sights on the cancer cells instead of how most chemo works, which is kill all cells, good and bad.  Although it has a huge laundry list of side effects, losing my hair isn't one of them.  Joy!  I also have a ton of friends and family who have so kindly offered to help with meals, shopping, cleaning my house....if I need it.  If I do in fact face some of the nastier side effects, I'm still going to be taken care of...my husband and kids will still get everything they need.  WOW!  Am I a lucky girl or what?!

So yeah, I'll be starting chemo on Valentine's Day, but I say BRING IT!  I'm going to be thankful that I live in an era with such amazing technological advances that I get the chance to go from being someone with cancer to someone who is cancer free. Hurray!  Thank you Jesus!