Private Coaching

Well I have had 3 private crossfit sessions under my belt.  Each one feels better than the last.  Meagan has been super patient as I fumble my way through the workouts she gives me.  I'm amazed at how the small mini workouts she gives me tired me out so easily. 

I realize that I have been not very forgiving of myself.  I want to be over the whole cancer crap but the truth is my body is still very weak from the chemo and it's going to take a while for me to bounce back physically.  I look in the mirror and all I see is a girl who got fatter while battling cancer.  Like somehow what happened to my body during the last 9 months is my fault.  I think other people view me in the same light.  Maybe if I had lost my hair then others and myself could see me as someone who is RECOVERING from cancer.  I'm not saying I wish I lost my hair, more like it's easy to just assume I'm fine because I don't look like I battled anything.  

I have three more one on one coaching classes and then I'm back in group classes.  The thought excites and terrifies me.  I wish I wasn't so afraid of what everyone thinks of me all the freaking time.  I HATE IT!  I want more than anything to not care what other's think of me.  Ever since I was a little girl my mother would make comments about me and my weight or my hair or my skin or whatever she thought was imperfect.  I remember walking into a store with her and she says to me, do you see all these people looking at you?  I replied, no.  She said, "they're not looking at you because you're pretty, it's because you have such a large behind.  They can't help but look.  You should really think about losing some weight".  It really wasn't until that moment that I really started feeling insecure with myself and started worrying about what other's were thinking about me.   The phrase "Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me" is about the biggest lie ever told!  I think words can cause some very deep wounds that can last decades or even a lifetime. 

The good news is that I'm feeling that fire start to grow.  The fire that I can change my life, I can be the person I've always wanted to be, I can get healthy and fit.  It's a tiny flame but with each workout and each day that I eat healthy I feel it slowly growing bigger and bigger.  I want to be a person who is full of joy and life, who takes risks and has fun, who isn't afraid of what people think of her and is an inspiration to those who feel stuck. 

 

 

I had my before pictures taken at the beginning of last week.  I'm going to take more three months from now and will post them to see what I've accomplished.  I'm eating super clean, mostly paleo and feel good.  I'm determined to go into this holiday season will fresh resolve to change my life once and for all.  

First Crossfit workout after cancer

I met with Meagan today.  We did a 30 minute, one on one "class".  She wanted to see where I was physically.  I'll be doing several one on one classes until she feels I'm ready to rejoin the regular classes.  I was so nervous today.  I could hardly eat any lunch and I just wanted to crawl under the covers of my bed and not come back out. 

She had me start off on the airdyne bike to get the blood flowing.  I had the hardest time even getting my fat ass on the darn thing.  Literally took me 30 seconds of floundering before I was able to hoist myself up onto the seat.  As I warmed up, Meagan told me that we are going to be going at a very slow pace.  She's going to essentially be "babying" me, until I can work back up to more normal workouts. 

All I can say was what little I did today was very VERY hard for me.  My muscles felt so weak and my body felt so heavy.  Mentally I want to walk back in and just jump right in to where I left off.  That's just not going to happen.  It kills me, KILLS ME, to start back at the beginning.  I wasn't even able to finish the uber tiny WOD she created for me.  I felt to sick to my stomach I just couldn't finish.  I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I wanted to kick my feet and throw a tantrum.  My mind is SOO ready to be back but my body is no where near on the same page. 

 

 

Finding myself at the beginning again is almost more than I can take. I feel like I shouldn't have fallen so far back down the ladder.  Somehow I should've been able to keep up with everything.  I know deep down that's insane.  I had cancer, I was on a chemo that ravished my body, and yet I feel like I somehow failed.  I can only hope that with each class I attend, that it'll get better and better. 

 

 

 

 

My best pal is doing bootcamp right now and I constantly tell her not to get discouraged, that this is all part of the process, blah blah blah.  I really need to heed my own advice.  Why is it so easy to give others grace and forgiveness but we are so hard on ourselves? 

 

 

My next class is in 3 days.  My goal until is to eat as clean as possible, take my vitamins and drink lots of water.  



Cancer Free and heading back to Crossfit

OMGoodness what a whirl wind life has been.  After I was told I'd have to be on chemo for another year or so I really started digging into other options.  I found a local Mohs surgeon who was able to do my surgery in July and I was able to quit chemo for good.  It's been 2 1/2 months since then and my incision still hasn't completely closed up.  My body is VERY slow at healing itself due to the chemo.  I was told it could easily take a year for my body to heal itself from all the chemo side effects. 

I went up 3 sizes while on the meds but am down 2 so far.  I still get tired very easily, and also am struggling with migraines to bad they make my physically ill.  I'm anxious for life to get back to "normal".  I contacted my crossfit and will start back up on Monday Oct. 13th.  I'm super freaked out to be going back.  I feel like I've lost all the gains I made while there.  They keep telling me it shouldn't take more than 2-3 months to get back to where I was......I hope they're right! 

hurtful phone call and a biopsy

I have a large cluster of cysts under my left breast and got much bigger once I started crossfit.  I'm guessing because of the irritation of the sports bras.  Anyway I had some a few years ago and had them surgically removed about 1 1/2 yrs ago.  Unfortunately they've come back with a vengeance.  They are incredibly tender and hurt ALL the time.  My husband and I cannot afford health insurance but we do have a family Dr. who we pay a couple hundred dollars a month to and in turn we can see him as many times as we want at no charge.  He can do basic minor surgeries, cast a broken bone, and do many things that most general practitioners can't do.  He's the Dr. that removed my cysts the first time.  ANYWAY I went to see him a couple weeks ago about these new ones and he said that he couldn't do the surgery because it was too big and now there was too much scar tissue for him to remove them safely in the office.  He found a surgeon who was willing to help me at a discount and I went to see him yesterday. 

He said that  in order to treat the cysts properly he needed to do a biopsy on a couple of them and send them off to a lab.  That way he'll know exactly what he's dealing with and how to properly fix the problem. 

So I agree to have him do the biopsy right then so we could get the ball rolling.  I had NO idea it was going to be that painful or bloody!  Now the biopsies I've heard of involved a long slender needle being injected and a small amount of fluid/tissue would be extracted.  Since my cysts are not filled with fluid he had to use a biopsy plug. 

 

 

 

That is a tortue device if ever there was one.  OUCH to the mother freaking 10th degree!  He had to take two tissue samples and blood literally was pouring down the left side of my body.   My heart was beating a million miles a minute and felt like it was going to explode out of my chest.  I'm nervous to hear what we find out.  He did say that to do surgery would cost me at least $5000 and the biopsy alone was $500.  FUDGE!  I hate never having enough money. 

 

 

So needless to say today I'm sore, grouchy and feeling uber depressed.  I got a phone call this morning from the secretary of our family Dr.  She said it was time for me to come in and get an updated tetanus shot,check my cholesterol levels, and to see if I've done anything about being morbidly obese.  Then she gave me a lecture about how being obese increases the odds of developing diabetes.  As soon as I got off the phone I just burst into tears.  I feel like I've been working my tail off at changing my eating and exercising.  She just came across as completely uncompassionate and rude. 

 

I'm almost 10 months into crossfit and today I just felt like a big fat failure.  Am I ever going to get my body in shape?  Will my hard work ever pay off? 

 

To top off  the fun times, my husband starts his night job next week.  I'm scared of my life being ripped apart at the seams.  My health, financial, marriage, etc. 

 

 

Here's hoping for something positive to happen.  I don't know how much more of this I can take.

So many things!!

I'm still alive and ashamed to say that I'm a crappy blogger.  I know it's cliché to say I've been busy, but dammit, I have been!  With Christmas over, life has started getting back in a normal routine, which I'm extremely thankful for. 

A quick recap, I've been going to all my scheduled crossfit classes, exercise at home on the days I don't crossfit and have been eating 100% paleo.  Like seriously not one bite of anything nonpaleo.  Let me just say I feel GREAT!  I have more stamina , I'm sleeping better, my mood is better, and just in the last week I've lost 3 inches from my belly.  WOOT!  Mentally I feel totally "in the game". 

Here is a picture Meagan took a couple weeks ago of me doing some back squats.

I saw her pull out the camera and I immediately wanted to hide in the bathroom.  I wish I didn't critique myself so much, but I do.  It's really something I need to work harder at NOT doing.  I saw this picture and all I could see what a fat pudgy belly, fat pudgy legs, and my torso wasn't as upright as it's supposed to be during back squats.    Now if I turn off the negative voice in my head I can look at this picture and say that my ass was below my knees, which is what we strive for, the weight isn't bad and damn, I'm doing something I never thought I'd do in my wildest dreams. 

My form will continue to improve, the weight load will get heavier because I'll get stronger and that's that. 

My crossfit is currently running a Paleo challenge.  We earn points for working out, doing mobility exercises, and posting daily recipes on facebook.  We have to deduct points for cheating.  We also have to take before and after photos as well as thigh and belly before and after measurements.  I am 100% in the mindset that I'm going to win.  I'm doing everything in my power, every single day, to earn that chance to win.  I feel in my heart I want it more than anyone else and I tell anyone that will listen to me that I will be the big winner.  I'm 10 days in and feel awesome!  Our last day is Valentines day.  Woohoo! 

I will try to get better at blogging.  I promise.  =)

1 week till Paleo Challenge kick off

I'm super excited for this coming Paleo challenge at our Crossfit.  It starts Jan. 6th and runs for 6 weeks.  This time it costs $40.  There will be two winners, 1 male, and 1 female.  They will split the moola.  The smount of money you can win, will completely depend upon how many people sign up.  I gave my $40 to Meagan this morning and officially signed up.  I was also the very first one to sign up....that's a good sign, right?  I fully plan on winning this thing!  I have the most fat to lose (female wise) in the gym, so I think that gives me a bit of an advantage.  I hope! 

I made it to the gym today and got my behind handed to me on a silver platter....or should I say, my arms?!  My arms felt like jelly afterwards and still feel quite weak and sore.  I didn't realize that I PR'd my back squat today.  115 lbs.  Still not a great number, but I was happy with it. 

Not much else to report.  I'm glad Christmas is over.  It was stressful and frustrating.  I'm just ready to get 2014 started. 

Every victory is a Non Scale Victory!!!!!

After throwing away my scale last spring...I must say that it's a decision I don't regret in the least.  I love reading fitness and weight loss blogs, but I swear most of them center around what the flipping scale says or doesn't say.  I let my scale wreck havoc on my life since I was in 5th grade.....almost 25 years! 

Since joining crossfit I've met some AMAZING people.  There are a couple girls that are tiny.  They are extremely muscular but all in all, very small....and they weigh WAY more than you'd ever think.  The scale doesn't show body composition, it doesn't show muscle mass, it doesn't show how your endurance and stamina have increased.....it shows nothing except a number. 

It's so fun to see small victories without even blinking an eye about what the scale might say.  I get true joy when I set a personal record while doing a lift, or doing 18'' box jumps for the first time, or going on a run and not feeling as fatigued as I would've a month earlier.  I love it!  I wish all of us would throw our scales away and just work hard.  We all know that if we eat better and get more exercise we'll lose weight and get fit......so why do we need a scale to tell us something we already know?  I read a blog not too long ago where the gal was frustrated that she weighed 125 lbs and couldn't get back to 122 lbs....which is where she wants to be.  Ummmmm......SERIOUSLY?!    Do you look good in your clothes?  Do you feel good about yourself?  Are you making good choices?  Then freaking WHO CARES what the scales says?  Good grief! 

The other thing is I swear all scales weigh slightly differently.  I remember weighing myself on my bathroom scale, then on my basement scale only to find an 8 lb difference.  Needless to say I convinced myself that I was the weight that was the lesser of the two evils. 

If you are one of those people who obsess about the scale, give yourself a gift this coming year.  Take a break from it.  Put it in the closet for a month or better yet, throw the darn thing away.  Like anything it's hard at first, but soon you'll feel free of it's shackles....and that my friend is worth it's "weight" in gold. 

By the way.....I bought myself a new kettlebell!  The 15 lb bell was no longer much of a challenge and when I workout at home I needed something to help me keep getting stronger.  Meet my 30 lb bell.  Ahhhh, isn't she pretty!    I love her already!

Where has the energy gone?

I haven't felt much "pep" lately.  Where'd it go?!  I'm not sure if it's the crummy sleep I'm getting, the dark winter days, the single digit temps or what.  I miss the full of life feeling I had during the summer. 

My mom called me today to let me know they had to put their dog down.  Jamaica was almost 14 years old.  I clearly remember the first day they brought her home.  She was an 8 week old black lab and my mom brought her down into my room and let her wake me up by licking me.  I feel bad for my parents, they are taking her death very hard.  =( 

I did make it to crossfit.  I really wanted to skip it today though.....it was mostly cardio.  I'd much rather lift weights that do cardio.  Cardio is great for skinny mini's....not for chunky monkey's like myself.  I suppose I need it the most though...since it's a great fat burner.  WHATEVER........I still freaking hate it. 

We rowed 1000 meters, did 40 jumping pull ups, and then had to burn 65 calories on the airdyne bike.  BARF BARF BARF! 

I finished in 15 min 7 seconds.  Definitely one of the slowest times of the day.  Drat! 

I'm going to brew myself up a cup of coffee and then maybe soak in a hot bubble bath.  My let muscles are screaming at me. 

LOVING ME SOME DEADLIFTS!

Life gets so hectic around the holidays!!  I don't know how people keep up with it all.  I feel like I start to fall behind around Thanksgiving and by the New Year I'm ready to throw in the towel. 

I made it into crossfit the day after Thanksgiving.  I felt extremely swollen due to all the salt I consumed.  I had just one plate of food, and really just normal/proper amounts of everything.  Potatoes, stuffing, green bean casserole, turkey, gravy and some cranberry sauce.  Nothing too extreme.  Still the next day my joints hurt and my fingers and toes felt stiff.  I was glad I got right back on the horse the day after the holiday.  I was also proud that I only had about 6 bites of pie that evening.  I used to use holidays as an excuse to not only eat bad food, but to stuff my face for days afterwards.   

By the weekend I started to developed some terrible migraines.  They were so bad that noises, smells, light, just about everything made it almost unbearable.  Because my head hurt so bad I couldn't eat because it would make me feel sick.  I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't listen to music or watch a movie.  It was all I could do just to make sure my kids got out the door for school and there was food for them to eat.  That has been my existence for most of this week.  I don't know what's causing them.  I'm guessing stress, but who really knows for sure? 

I felt a lot better this morning.  I was able to make it to crossfit today.  Hurray!  My head still hurts but it's only a slight headache.  Friday's are deadlift days, which are my favorite.  I really feel badass when I can lift heavy weights.  I lifted more than any of the girls there today.  I'm still the fattest, but it's nice to not be the weakest as well. 

We did a 10 minute kettle bell warm up.  Followed by 5 sets of 5 heavy dead lifts.  I pulled 205 lbs for my dead lifts.  My personal record for a single rep is 225, so I'm pretty sure the next time I test my limit, I'll be able to beat my last record.  205 is hard.  By the time I finished all my sets I was exhausted and sweat was dripping off my face.  They sure don't look like they are hard or that they do much, but if you research the deadlifts, they are one of the better lifts as far as results go.
Here's an article that goes into way more detail.

Our WOD was a 6 minute AMRAP.
5 air squats
5 kettle bell swings
10 air squats
10 kettle bell swings
etc etc until the 6 minutes runs out.

I used a 25 lb bell.  This was HARD!!  6 minutes sounds like it would be cake....it was not cake, it was more like torture.  Jonathan came by about half way through the WOD and told me that my squats were looking awesome.  He said my form was so much better than it used to.  Hurray!  I was ablet to get up to 25 squats and 17 kb swings before time was up.  My lungs burned SOOO bad! 
We finished off class with some cool down stretches and we were done. 


I'd really like to finish December strong.  No more sickness, no more migraines and getting in all my crossfit workouts.  Time to get in a hot bubble bath and relax.  It's flipping cold here today!  I think our high today should be about 3 degrees.  Brrrrr!!!!

Pain in the neck!

This is my neck after doing 125# back squats today.  I sent this picture to my coaches and they said I'm holding the bar too high and that I need to keep the bar lower.....basically on top of my traps.  Whatever traps are.  Derek said he'd show me tomorrow how to fix my form.  In the mean time I am freaking SORE!  Not only from all the back squats, which by the way was a 40 lb PR for me!  Woot woot!  I did 5 sets of 5 at 125 lbs.  That's a huge increase from what I have been doing. 

We also did FRAN yesterday.  I used 20 lbs more on my bar and boy oh boy did I feel it!  I woke up several times last night because every time I moved my muscles I would be in quite a bit of pain.  I'm taking today off completely to rest and recover.  Maybe I'll get a jump start on Thanksgiving preparations. 

Do you feel like because your body doesn't look the way you want that it holds you back from life?  I let how I feel about myself dictate just about every facet of my life.  I hate that!  I really wanted to wear a dress for the holidays but I feel like I'll look like a whale so I won't. In fact, because I still hate how my body looks I won't even go buy a new outfit.  I can't stand the thought of spending money on clothes that are huge.  I don't know how to love myself where I currently am and that really bothers me.  How does a person change that? 

1st ever family photos taken!

I've been  MIA for awhile now.  I developed a nasty case of bronchitis right before I left to go see my sister in Boise.  I had to cancel our 5K run.  I was miserable!  We pretty much just sat around and watched movies and talked.  Anything else hurt my lungs too much.  Even after I returned home I took off an entire week of crossfit to let my body heal. 

A couple weeks ago my husband took Friday off from work and he went with me to crossfit.  It was awesome for him to get to see what it's like first hand.  They let a family member try a class for free.  I know he wants to start boot camp soon.  He's itching to get involved in some sort of exercise and I think this will be perfect for him.  While there, we worked on deadlifts.  I hadn't been at crossfit for 2 1/2 weeks and during that time I was crazy sick and weak.  We worked on finding our 1 rep max.  Basically the most you can lift in just one lift.  My last 1 rep max was 160 lbs.  Meagan told me to not expect to lift that much since I've been gone for a long time and because I'd been sick.  I ended up lifting 205 lbs!!  I beat my last PR (personal record) by 45 lbs!  I was soo excited!  The WOD was awful.  I could really tell my endurance was way down. 

Last week I just went to class twice and this week I fully plan on going all three days.  It feels good to be back on the horse. 

So I hired Meagan ( one of my wonderful trainers) to take some photos of me and my family.  We've never.....like EVER....had family photos taken.  Every year my husband wants to and I decline saying that I'm too fat and that we can do it the following year.  This has been going on for 11 years.  Well Meagan posted on facebook that she does photography and I looked at some of her work and it was really good.  I went ahead, bit the bullet, and signed us up.  It was extremely hard for me to let someone take full body shots of me.  I hate sounding so selfish.....but all I could think about was how huge I still was.  I got our photos back a few days ago.  Meagan did an amazing job!  There are a few photos I'd like to banish forever, but instead I'm going to keep them so I can remember how I truly looked through my journey.  I much prefer the pictures from the waist up, but whatever...it is what it is.  I thought I'd share a few pictures...some good ones,  and one or two that make me feel insecure. 

 

An ass picture, really?!  BLAH!  It's like twice as big as my husband's.  On a good note, I had a couple people this week tell me at crossfit  that I was looking slimmer.  Hey, I'll take any compliment I can get. 

We also just got a 9 week old miniature dachshund puppy.  We named her Juniper.  She's a sweetie pie.  ♥

Fantastic end to the week!

Thursday was a great day.  I had three different people at crossfit tell me that they could tell I was getting smaller.  YAY!! 

Warm Up:
thoracic mobility
glute activation
Skill: ass-ist
3×10 romanian deadlift  ( I was able to do 90 lbs, much less weight than regular deadlifts.)
3×10, 1×15 BB glute bridge ( I went way heavier with this that I ever have before.  I used 140lbs)

WOD: Dels
20″ max effort sled drag, with 1:40 rest. Load up with as much as you can move quickly- stronger athletes will get bodyweight+. Repeat 8x.  (I used 135 lbs.  The most I've ever used before was about 100 lbs.)
after, grab a heavy kettlebell and swing (russian):
10 reps, 2 breaths
15 reps, 3 breaths
25 reps, 4 breaths
50 reps.
keep tech snappy and perfect, with as quick of a tempo as you can manage. (I used an 18lb bell. This was harder than I thought it was going to be.  Those last 50 swings were killer!)

I left Thursday feeling on top of the world. 


Friday was also fabulous!

Warm Up:
buddy row, get 500m each.  Teams of three.   ( I was able to row faster than I've ever rowed before.  Yay!!!!)
-rest when you get off the rower
-when a buddy transitions to rest, get 10 perfect squats.
Skill: snatch
thacker WU+
12 sets, ascending: snatch from position 2+snatch from position 1
Skill Option: KB ascendency 
one-arm swing, 10 reps
lateral swing, 10 reps
KB snatch, 10 reps.
switch sides, get 4 sets each side.
after, get 3×10 1 arm sott’s press
WOD: Hurler
20 pistol (alternating, 20 each leg) ( I did box step ups while holding a 25lb kettlebell)
then, 21-15-9 reps of

front squat 135/95 ( Used 45lb bar.....not even close to where I want to be on the front squats)

ring dip (not strong enough to do these yet, so I did pushups instead)

finish with 150x double under. ( For those that can't do double unders we were to attempt to do 50 and then do 300 single unders.  I actually was able to do 15 double unders.  15  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I have never been able to even do 1 before.  I couldn't believe it! )


All in all it was a fabulous week!  I'm so thankful since the last few weeks I've felt down, weak and not very motivated.  I so needed a good week. 

It's a little chilly, but it's a clear blue sky and gorgeous outside.  Enjoy your weekend, I know I'm going to.  =)

Biggest Loser Season 15 Premiere + Hearts and Barbells 1st workout

I love the Biggest Loser!  It inspires me and I bawl like a baby each week when I watch it.  My husband thinks I'm crazy.  He doesn't understand why people watch those kinds of shows.  For me it's because I can relate.  I know the pain of being heavy.  I know what it feels like.  I know the struggle.  I know what having a food addiction is like.  I get it.  I've been there....and am still there in a way. 

Yesterday I attended our crossfit's first Hearts and Barbell class.  I was insanely nervous.  All day I kept telling myself that attending this class was a joke.  I was a nobody.  It wasn't for me.  It was for a true athlete.  Negative thought after negative thought all day long.  I was a relatively small class.  They only allow the 1st 12 people that sign up to attend. 

I was shaking in my boots when I walked through those doors last night.  Again, I feel pretty secure in my 9:30am class....but the evening classes I don't know anyone and feel like it's day one all over again.  I signed in, got my kiddos settled into the child area, used the restroom, and started stretching.  Everyone had proper lifting shoes but me.  Ugh, I hate being the only person who doesn't fit in. 

Well the workout was killer, but definitely in a good way.  Derek mentioned at the beginning of the class that it was ok to stop a take a breather if things got too intense.  Much to my surprise I was able to keep up with the group.  BOOYA!   Now I was lifting the lightest amount of weight, but who freaking cares.  I went, I conquered my fear of the unknown, and I finished the class.  I really really liked it.  I'm looking forward to going next Tuesday night as well. 

We did a ton of hang squat snatches.  These get easier as your form gets better.  Once you get the hang of them, you feel a little bit bad ass.  =) 

I love using the barbell more than almost anything else at crossfit.  I think I will continue with this new class.  I am SOOOO incredibly sore today that I'm going to use today to rest and heal and then will go to my regular crossfit class on Thursday and Friday.


Oh and I must say that going to class in the morning has another advantage.  Last night while I was there I noticed that as it got darker and darker outside that all the windows started acting like mirrors and everytime I passed a window I could see my awful reflection.  Inside I do not feel the way I look on the outside.  I am getting anxious for my outside to catch up to my thinner mental self. 

Crushed today's workout....well kinda

Felt great this morning.  I got lots of much needed sleep and woke up feeling energized and roaring to go.  It's also a gorgeous Fall day.  Clear blue sky, a light crisp wind and gorgeous Fall colors everywhere you look. 

Our warm up was a partner medicine ball run.  We used a 15 pound ball and would throw it to our partner, then run ahead about 10 feet and they throw it back.  We did that for 300 meters and then we switched to squatting and then springing up and throwing the ball to our partner and then running ahead back and forth for the last 100 meters. 

Our skill set was a KILLER!!!  We were told to grab two kettle bells, they didn't have to be the same weight.  I grabbed a 25 lb bell and an 18 lb bell.  We went outside and started walking.  J (Jonathan) told us to raise our right arm all the way up and lock out the elbow.  We walked about 20 feet and then switched arms.  Next we held both bells up by our chins and did squats.  Deep squats and then we'd stand up, over and over for a couple minutes.  Next we held both bells up above our head and walked about 100 meters.  Then we stopped and did kettle bell swings with both bells at the same time.  My arms and lungs were burning so bad!  We then started walking again, alternating arms above the head.  Next we did about 100 meters of lunges with the bells. Finally we were told to just do a farmers carry for an additional 200 meters and then go inside for the WOD.  Even though it's COLD outside, I was pouring sweat.  I was regretting the size bells I chose.....although I was able to complete the skill set, so I guess I should be pleased. 

The WOD was done with a partner. 

10-1 reps (so we'd each to 10 of each move, then 9 of each move, then 8 then 7 and so on and so forth until you get down to 1 each. 

They gave us 20 minutes to complete it. 

The exercises were
*thrusters

*pull ups

*hand release push ups

I felt great going into the workout.  I was fast.  My partner is a gal who is fairly new and is slower than me.  Although she's stronger than me in some areas, she's also slower.  If the WOD was completed then we'd have done a total of 55 of each of the moves.  We weren't able to get the last three rounds in before time was up.  So we finished 49 of each of the moves.  It was ok.  I know I could've finished the WOD with a faster partner, but all in all it was not a big deal.  We all got in an amazing workout and we tried our best and that it what it's all about. 

They're offering a new class on Tuesday nights from 6:30-7:30 called Hearts and Barbells.  All I know is that it has something to do with lots of heavy lifting.  I'm going to go tomorrow evening to check it out.  I'm a little nervous since the 9:30 am class in my safe bubble.  I know the people that go and I feel comfortable with them now.  I'm guessing there will be a ton of people I don't know attending this new class and that makes me really nervous.  Eeeek! 

I talked to him like a royal B!

I went to bed super early last night.  7pm to be exact.  I hoped that a ton of sleep would leave me feeling relaxed and refreshed.  Instead I woke up feeling exhausted.  My eyelids were not wanting to cooperate. 

I made it to crossfit this morning.  Huge accomplishment considering how I'm feeling physically and mentally.  Everything we did felt impossibly difficult.  I can tell such a big difference in my endurance and strength when I take a few days off. 

Our warm up was 5 Turkish get ups on each side and then using a slightly heavier bell we did another 3 on each side. 

Our skill set was all about pull ups and negative pull ups.  Jonathan helped me get a super thick band and work on my negative pull ups.  I felt like I was humiliating myself.  I felt weak and it pissed me off!  He told me he could tell how much better I'm getting and I just looked him straight in the eyes and in a sarcastic bitchy way said, "really?!" .  This caused him to stammer a bit and collect himself.  He said that he hadn't seen me in the last 6 weeks because he's been mostly doing evening classes but that he could see a difference in how I look since he last saw me.  At that point he pretty  much excused himself to go help some other people. 

I feel really bad for being a jerk.  I guess I just felt like he was blowing smoke up my rear.  I still feel weak and fat and stupid and lame and and and.......
Maybe he really can tell a difference and I'm just cranky and being a negative nancy. 

Anyhoo our WOD was to get in groups of 4.  Two of us had to drag the sled down and back up the alley and then do 20 meter bear crawl and 10 native jump squats.  We repeated everything twice. 

I'm dead to the world after today's class.  I hope I feel a lot more energy and strength come Friday and maybe I'll get the chance to apologize to Jonathan for being a snarky jerk. 

"to the pain"

Anyone know this quote?  "to the pain"   It's from my most favorite movie, The Princess Bride.

Humperdinck: First things first, to the death.

Westley: No. To the pain.

Humperdinck: I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.

Westley: I'll explain, and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog-faced buffoon.

Humperdinck: That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.

Westley: It won't be the last. "To the pain" means the first thing you lose will be your feet, below the ankles, then your hands at the wrists. Next, your nose.

Humperdinck: [losing his patience] And then my tongue, I suppose. I killed you too quickly the last time, a mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.

Westley: I wasn't finished! The next thing you lose will be your left eye, followed by your right —

Humperdinck: [exasperated] And then my ears. I understand! Let's get on with it-

Westley: WRONG! Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why: So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears. That is what "to the pain" means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.

Today's workout was "to the pain".  Well...........it was close.  haha

Our warm up was getting into groups of 3 and while 1 person rows 250 meters, the other two are doing junkyard dog.  We each took a turn.  I must say, that was the fastest I've ever rowed in my life!  I was able to row at a pace of 1:51.....which is a far cry better that was I used to row which was 2:35. 

Our skill set was a killer!

4 rounds

10 left handed lateral kettlebell swings

10 right handed lateral kettlebell swings

10 left handed regular kb swings

10 right handed regular kb swings

10 kb power cleans (using two bells)

1 minute native squat while holding a kettle bell

FOUR FREAKING ROUNDS!!!!!!!!!!!!   Sweat was pouring off my body.  There was a disgusting amount of sweat on the floor all around me.  Everything burned, my muscles were tapped out!

Our WOD was hard as well. 

10 manmakers (BARF BARF BARF these are so hard!)

20 pull ups ( I did ring rows)

800 meter run

20 pull ups

10 more manmakers

I ran 700 out of the 800 meters.  HUGE accomplishment for me!  Especially after how tired I was.  BUT I did it!!  I kept up with the group and finished the workout.  It feels amazing!  I did cry on the way home though.  I know I pushed myself to my very limit.  Those last few manmakers had me grunting and groaning.  It took every last bit of energy I had to get them done. 

I'm not sure what exercise I'm going to get in tomorrow, but it'll be something easy going and not too strenuous.  I hope Friday's WOD isn't as hard as today's was.  OY!

Moving for 31 days

Today I took my dog on a 3.5 mile hike.  It was so pretty today.  The sun would peek out from the clouds every once in a while.  It poured rain a few times, but for the most part it was lovely. 

View from the top of the ridge.

Since I'm eating Paleo for the entirety of October, I thought I'd give myself another challenge....to get some exercise in every single day.  I will crossfit M, W, and F......the rest of the week can be anything from a hike, a walk, whatever.....just as long as I get in some exercise every single day. 

You know what else I'm going to do different this October??  I'm not going to buy one single piece of Halloween candy.  None.  For me that's a huge deal.  I'd always buy several bags of various mini candy bars and many times I'd eat most of the candy and have to buy more before the 31st.  This year the cycle of binge eating candy stops. 

I leave for Boise on the 31st and I really want to be as fit and I can be before my 5K run with my sister.  It's the final countdown!  Do you have any goals for October?

Stronger than my husband?!?!

On Saturday my husband asked if we could do a crossfit style workout in the garage together.  Although he's still slim, he's lost a lot of muscle since we got married and has replaced it with a soft belly.  He still looks quite slim in his clothes, but I can tell a huge difference in his body composition between now and when we got married 11 years ago.

Anyhoo so we go out into the garage and since we have only a kettlebell, I came up with a workout that would use mostly our body weight. 

We did 5 rounds of:

20 jump squats

25 push ups

30 second plank

30 kettlebell swings

Half way into the 2nd round he had to stop.  He said he couldn't catch his breath and his arms and legs hurt too bad.  I told him to catch his breath and then to keep going.  I continued the workout while he sat down and watched me.  During my 5th round he got back up and finished his 2nd round and then a 3rd.  By that time he stopped and said he couldn't do anymore. 

I must say that it felt freaking amazing to see myself beat him.  Now I know that if he actually started working out on a regular basis, he'd surpass me in very little time.  For the time being, I'm going to relish in my accomplishments.  I can tell it hurt his ego a bit.  What guy would want to admit that his obese wife beat him in a workout?  After a few hours he came up to me and gave me a big hug and told me he was proud of me.  ♥  Little things like that make it all worth it.

Today was a good day at crossfit. 

Our warm up was:

20 meter bear crawl

20 meter crab walk

3 minutes  AMRAP burpees

I felt dead to the world after the burpees.  Haha

The skill set was two rounds:

7 right handed kettlebell snatches and 7 windmills

7 left handed kettlebell snatches and 7 windmills

1 minute native squat

15 kettlebell sit ups (those were freaking HARD)

10  two second squat box jumps

The WOD was an 8 minute AMRAP:

5 hang power snatches

50 double unders or (150 single unders)

15 push ups

I was able to complete exactly 3 full rounds in those 8 minutes


I'm going to make myself a paleo turkey taco salad with homemade guacamole for lunch.  I'm starving!  ;)

What a way to end the week!

I feel like whenever I blog I tend to say the same things.....I woke up and didn't want to go to crossfit.  haha  But it's always the truth.  It was a cold and dark morning and staying in my warm bed and catching some extra Zzzz's seemed much more appealing than putting on workout clothes and going to the gym. 

I guess the good news is that I DID go and got my butt handed to me on a silver platter. 

We started off with ladder drills.  This was my 1st time doing them.  They were actually kind of fun.  They put a rope ladder on the ground and we had to do various things like jump squatting on each rung, or hopping in and out of the squares etc etc. 

For the skill set we did 4 sets of 5 Turkish get-ups on each arm.  After the 1st two rounds we did four 20 second plank holds, then more Turkish get-ups, followed by 4 more plank holds.  My core, my legs, and my arms were shaking.  My muscles were TIRED!

Our WOD was awful.  I felt nauseous half way through.  Thankfully I didn't get sick.  In groups of two we did (all with weighted bar bells)

50 squat thrusters
20 walking lunges
50 overhead squats
20 walking lunges
50 back squats
20 walking lunges

My partner and I finished in 9:54

I just wanted to lie on the ground in my puddle of sweat and not move.  I'm so so so tired!!  That WOD was a fine line from my breaking point.  I could feel myself get a little teary eyed towards the end, which always tells me that I hit my limit. 

I'm going to take a long, warm, bubble bath and possibly a nap before the kids get home from school.  I think I deserve it. 

1st week of the Paleo Challenge is officially over

1 week down, 5 more to go with this Paleo Challenge.  My first week has been chalk full of temptations of all sorts.  All in all I think I've done great!  I miss cheese like crazy as well as half n half for my coffee.  I can do this for 5 more weeks.  It'll be so worth it when I go to Boise.  Not only will I thoroughly enjoy my food when I'm there, but I know my clothes will be fitting better and running the 5k will be easier.  I tried on a sweater that my sister gave me a couple years ago.  It's never fit, like not even close.  It was so tight I've contemplated getting rid of it several times.  I was able to wear it yesterday and it fit perfectly.  Hurray!!!! 

Crossfit is always hard, but there are days where it's hard and it feels good, and then days where it's hard and you want to die.  Today I wanted to die. 

Our warm up was kettle bell maxercise.  Basically we did several minutes of nonstop kettle bell exercises. 

Our skill set was all about hang cleans.

It was 10 sets:
flat footed clean pull
hang power clean
hang squat clean
jerk

I loved the jerks.  It was my first time ever doing them.  I must admit I did feel a little bit like a bad ass. 

Our WOD was in a group of 3:

row 3000 meters

120 burpees

I'm slowly conquering my fear of running.  It's not as hard anymore.  Rowing on the other hand suck so bad!  It's crazy hard and my stomach fat likes to get in the way, which makes it harder to catch my breath.  I wanted to quit so bad.  If it wasn't for my group/team, I don't know how well I would've faired. 

It's only 7pm and I'm tired enough to go to bed.  Unfortunately my husband is out of town working, so I'll have to stay up and get the kids off to bed in an hour. 

I'm looking forward to seeing how my body changes during the last 5 weeks of this challenge.  It feels really good to fuel my body on clean foods.  My mood is better, I sleep SO much better, and I think it's a good example for my children.