First Crossfit workout after cancer

I met with Meagan today.  We did a 30 minute, one on one "class".  She wanted to see where I was physically.  I'll be doing several one on one classes until she feels I'm ready to rejoin the regular classes.  I was so nervous today.  I could hardly eat any lunch and I just wanted to crawl under the covers of my bed and not come back out. 

She had me start off on the airdyne bike to get the blood flowing.  I had the hardest time even getting my fat ass on the darn thing.  Literally took me 30 seconds of floundering before I was able to hoist myself up onto the seat.  As I warmed up, Meagan told me that we are going to be going at a very slow pace.  She's going to essentially be "babying" me, until I can work back up to more normal workouts. 

All I can say was what little I did today was very VERY hard for me.  My muscles felt so weak and my body felt so heavy.  Mentally I want to walk back in and just jump right in to where I left off.  That's just not going to happen.  It kills me, KILLS ME, to start back at the beginning.  I wasn't even able to finish the uber tiny WOD she created for me.  I felt to sick to my stomach I just couldn't finish.  I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I wanted to kick my feet and throw a tantrum.  My mind is SOO ready to be back but my body is no where near on the same page. 

 

 

Finding myself at the beginning again is almost more than I can take. I feel like I shouldn't have fallen so far back down the ladder.  Somehow I should've been able to keep up with everything.  I know deep down that's insane.  I had cancer, I was on a chemo that ravished my body, and yet I feel like I somehow failed.  I can only hope that with each class I attend, that it'll get better and better. 

 

 

 

 

My best pal is doing bootcamp right now and I constantly tell her not to get discouraged, that this is all part of the process, blah blah blah.  I really need to heed my own advice.  Why is it so easy to give others grace and forgiveness but we are so hard on ourselves? 

 

 

My next class is in 3 days.  My goal until is to eat as clean as possible, take my vitamins and drink lots of water.  



Man Makers

The last couple of days have been rough, really rough.  My husband and I have not been getting along so well.  He's super stressed about his job and I'm stressed trying to keep everything at home together.  So to make a super long story short, things have been stressful and we're not doing so well at leaning on each other when we should. 

I woke up today depressed and sad.  It was raining and super dark outside.  I just wanted to send the kids off to school and go back to bed and watch movies. 

Instead I got my workout clothes washed and dried, a protein shake made and headed out the door.  I'm always glad when I go.  I feel so much happier and stronger than I did when I woke up. 

Our warm up was to grab a partner and throw a medicine ball back and forth.  We did overhead tosses where we'd catch the ball, go into a deep squat and then toss the ball overhead to our partner.  We did a few others and then moved onto our skill sets.  We practiced Turkish get-ups.  We'd start off with a light kettle bell and then move up to our max weight.  The heaviest bell I was able to use was 26 lbs.  It was SO hard to do and my left arm, which is definitely my weak arm, felt like it was going to buckle under the weight.  Then I look over and see girls who are half my size using 50 lb kettle bells with ease.  

 

 

Our WOD was doing Man Makers.  As many as we could in 10 minutes.  This is a quick video clip of what a man maker looks like.

Video of how to do man makers


They were hard, and my whole body is dead to the world but I feel really good inside.  I'm crossing my fingers that this weekend goes smoothly.  I can't stand tension within the home.  Hope you all have a happy and healthy weekend.

Weak Sauce

Went to crossfit this morning and it was awful.  I think having the flu last week really took it's toll.  I had no energy to get through my workout.  Even during the warm up I could feel my leg muscles just stop.  They literally gave out on me.  FUDGE!  The skill set was overhead, back and front squats.  I was using less weight than I did two weeks ago.  Again, it wasn't just hard because it was heavy, it was hard because my body just couldn't seem to get it's crap together and work properly. 

The WOD was

15 overhead squats
100 double unders or if you can't do DU then 30 down and ups

10 OH squats
75 DU/20 down and ups

5 OH squats
50 DU/10 down and ups

I used a super light 20 lb weighted pvc pipe for my overhead squats.  I would've used a 25 lb bar, but they were all taken.  (big class today)

The down and ups killed me.  I actually can't do them properly because of the fat on my stomach getting in the way.  I ended up just doing my modified version of the burpee. 

As I was doing my 1st set of 30 burpees, I started feeling uber nauseous. I took a 15 second breather and got right back down to business.  I lost count somewhere around 20 burpees.  So I did another 5 just to be safe. 

I felt slow, tired, and insanely weak today.  I wanted to stomp my feet on the ground just like a toddler throwing a fit.  It's not fair!!

Anyhoo afterwards I drank my protein shake and came home. 

For lunch I remembered I had some leftover crustless bacon and spinach quiche.  I went to the fridge only to discover that my husband took it to work for his lunch.  Grrrr.....since when does he like paleo food?  Hmmph!

Instead I created a new recipe that rocked my socks off.  It was so insanely yummy!  I wish I hadn't horked it down as soon as it was finished cooking because it was quite pretty with all the colors. 

Sweet and Spicy Paleo Hash

4 strips of bacon cut up in tiny strips
1/2 jalapeno pepper minced
1/4 cup onion
1/2 cup minced cremini  mushrooms  (baby Portobello's)
1/2 cup shredded sweet potato
2 Tbs chopped green onion
2 eggs
1 tsp coconut oil
salt/pepper to taste

I cooked the bacon in a nonstick skillet until crispy.  Next I added the jalapeno, onion, mushrooms and sweet potato and cooked until heated through.  I added a little salt and pepper to the hash and then cooked the eggs.  In a separate nonstick pan I heated the coconut oil and then cooked my eggs over medium.  Once the eggs were cooked, I added them to the top of the hash, sprinkled on the green onions and dug in. 
It was sweet, it was spicy, it was delicious!

This is something I will defninitely make again, but hopefully next time I take a moment to snap a picture before I inhale it.  =)