What a whirl wind of life events! Overall I think I'm in a really good place mentally. I've accepted the prognosis and am looking forward to starting chemo so those tumors can start shrinking. I live in a pretty small town in Idaho and we have one of the top 5 sarcoma oncologists in the nation literally 4 minutes from my house. Praise the Lord! Also I found some insurance that will be somewhat affordable. We'll still have to pay about $10,000 in total costs, but considering my treatment will be at least 10 times that, I'm incredibly thankful! I'm also thankful that I don't have itty bitty kids at home. They will be gone at school for most of the day, so if I'm feeling icky or tired, I can rest without feeling guilty about ignoring them. I'm also thankful that I don't work. Although we don't live in the lap of luxury, I choose to stay home with the kids as they grow up. Because of that, I don't have to worry about missing work. Many mommas have to work just to keep their families going month to month and that's not something I'll have to worry about.
I've been doing a ton of thinking and so many people ask, WHY ME?, when something bad happens. I don't really feel that way at all. I figure life throws everyone curve balls once in a while and this time it's my turn. I can be devastated by this cancer, or I can use it to be truly thankful for the good amazing things I do have. I can really savor the small moments that so many of us overlook. Maybe, just maybe, this cancer is a huge blessing in disguise.
Some good news.....I was given three months of free chemo drugs. Woot woot! That's $30,000 worth! Also the chemo I'll be on is a daily pill vs sitting in a depressing room with an IV in my arm. This chemo is freaking amazing....it's the only one of it's kind and many Dr.'s refer to it as a silver bullet. It sets it's sights on the cancer cells instead of how most chemo works, which is kill all cells, good and bad. Although it has a huge laundry list of side effects, losing my hair isn't one of them. Joy! I also have a ton of friends and family who have so kindly offered to help with meals, shopping, cleaning my house....if I need it. If I do in fact face some of the nastier side effects, I'm still going to be taken care of...my husband and kids will still get everything they need. WOW! Am I a lucky girl or what?!
So yeah, I'll be starting chemo on Valentine's Day, but I say BRING IT! I'm going to be thankful that I live in an era with such amazing technological advances that I get the chance to go from being someone with cancer to someone who is cancer free. Hurray! Thank you Jesus!