Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Death Row

Today is my middle son's 8th birthday.  Hebron was born on Father's Day.  He asked me if we could stay home from crossfit today because it was his birthday.  Nice try, Son.  After I cool down from my workout and shower, I'll take him to 31 Flavors to get an ice cream cone. 

Today was a wamup, skill set, and WOD that all dealt with the arms and shoulders.  The WOD was a killer.  Literally I felt like death was creeping up on me while doing it.  I wanted to die.  The rowing machine looks so innocent.  Most of us have tried it a time or two in the gym.  It seems easy and it is if you're using it incorrectly.  We had to row 750 meters three times.  We timed ourselves and couldn't go below our first time by more than 3 seconds or we'd have to do 25 penalty burpees. 

If we rowed the first 750 meters in 3 minutes, then we'd double that time to rest.  So then we'd rest for 6 minutes.  Then we'd row again, rest again, and then row one last time. 

Our crossfit only has 8 rowers, and we had well over 20 people in today's class, so we had to alternate a bit.  I was in the last group to start and naturally was the last person to finish. 

Geoff told me that I needed to stay around 220 meters a minute.  He told me that I have strong legs and that it was an appropriate goal for me to strive for.  When I rowed Monday I had a super hard time staying under 230 meters a minute, and that was for 400 meters sprints.  ugh!!!!

I started and stayed at around 217 meters a minute.  My lungs burned, my shoulders were on fire, my legs were quivering, my stomach muscles were screaming at me.  My whole body felt like it was going to shut down.  I just closed my eyes and kept rowing, trying to keep a good stride and proper form.  I finished my 1st 750 meters in 3 minutes 34 seconds.   I had 7 minutes to rest. 

That 7 min. rest FLEW by!  My second 750 meters I was told to keep my speed at 215 meters a minute.  Basically meaning I needed to do this round slightly faster.  I wanted to scream, LOOK AT ME, I'M TOO FAT!  Instead I just closed my eyes and prayed that I wouldn't make a complete fool out of myself in front of the rest of the class. 

My second round I was able to shave 6 seconds off my time.  I clocked in at 3 minutes 28 seconds. 
I had another 7 min. rest and climbed back on the rower.  I knew I had to get my last round in at 3 min 37 seconds or faster....otherwise 25 burpees would need to be done. 

My stomach was not happy, I felt super sick, and my eyes were starting to tear up.  I told myself to KNOCK IT OFF, THERE IS NO CRYING IN CROSSFIT...YOU SIGNED UP FOR THIS, NOW BUCK UP AND GET THROUGH IT! 

I stopped twice during my 3rd round.  My lungs just didn't feel like they could keep up with my need for oxygen.  Megan and Geoff started yelling encouragement to me and I finished as strong as I could.  I used every last ounce of energy that I had.  I finished at exactly 3 min 34 seconds.....the same as my 1st round. 

Hurray!!  No burpees for this girl!!  I did it.  I finished it.  I pushed myself past any limit I thought I had.  I just sat on the machine for a minute and sucked in air as fast as I could.  I didn't care that I was last.  I was just happy I finished it. 

On a different note, I saw my grandfather on Saturday and he gave me a hug and told me that he could totally see me shrinking.  Yay!  It feels so good when others can visually see the hard work I've been putting in. 

Yesterday I went and donated plasma.  I've been donating on and off for a few years now.  I go when I need a little extra cash.  At the moment I go twice a week to pay for CrossFit since there is no money in the budget for this expensive sport.  Ever since I started donating plasma they have to use the larger of two arm cuffs to check my blood pressure.  There have been a few times where someone would try a smaller cuff, but as soon as they turn it on, it pops off because it's way too small.  Yesterday the nurse used the smaller one and I cringed as she turned on the machine.  To my shock and amazement it didn't pop off, it fit just fine!! 

Can I fit into skinny jeans?  no

Can I wear a swimsuit at the beach and look normal?  no

Can I get on the scale and see a healthy number looking back at me?  no

I'm no where near where I want to be, but I'm thrilled at the small changes I'm starting to see.  I'm going to be proud of where I am and where I've come from.  I don't think enough of us get happy about the small things.  We tend to get fixated on a certain number on the scale or the size of pants they're in.  We need to celebrate all the small victories in our lives.  It's those small things that will lead us to the big changes we so desperately want.