Just not feeling it..........

What is wrong with me?!  I feel like I'm in a mental and physical fog.  I feel depressed and moody.  I don't know if it's stress about my husband's job change, financial problems or what.  I didn't go to crossfit on Monday because of my horrible sunburn.  On Wednesday it looked like this....

I can't even describe the pain I was in.  Nothing I put on it helped.  I had to take Ibuprofen throughout the day just to get by.  A friend called me and told me to try yellow mustard.  To slather it on and let it dry.  It sounded insane, but I was desperate enough to give it a go.  Within 20 minutes most of the pain had gone away.  Hurray!  I didn't even care that I smelled like a walking deli.  Today I was finally able to wear a bra again, so I went to crossfit.  I will go again tomorrow.  At least I'll be able to get in two workouts this week.  Not what I was hoping for, but it is what it is. 

I felt super run down during my workout.  Almost like I was starting all over again.  I felt weak, sick to my stomach, and just mentally not with it.  Ugh!   I hope this feeling is short lived, because I want to feel on top of the world again.

Next week I'm going to start my training for a 5K.  I plan on training Tues, Thurs, and Saturday's.  So with crossfit, I'll be "working out" 6 days a week.  I'd really like to start seeing the lbs start coming off.  Or at least my clothes start getting bigger.  I have seen some changes, but not as many as I'd like.  I did let my eating slack a bit while my in-laws were in town.  It's time to get back into strict paleo. 

On another note, I got an invite to attend our crossfit's annual beach party.  I want to go....kind of....but the scared part of me is like, "THERE IS NO WAY ON EARTH I'M GOING TO GET INTO A SWIMMING SUIT WITH ALL THE OTHER CROSSFITTERS".  How can I?!?!?!?!  Everyone in their bikini's with their lean arms and legs.........yeah right!  I'm pissed at myself that I refuse to go to a function that I would like to go to because I'm too self conscious.  It makes me physically ill just thinking about going.  I don't belong in that group of people!  I belong under a rock.  (can you tell i'm not very positive today?)  

Sunburns and Triathlons

Today is the last day I'll see my in-laws for a whole year!  Is it wrong to say just how happy that makes me?  I must say that I'm quite proud of myself.  I've held my ground and not let my mother-in-law walk all over me.  I've been kind and have done everything in my power to hold my tongue and not say anything snarky or rude.  All in all in was quite a successful visit, although it was stressful, it went about as smooth as it could, considering who I was dealing with.  What an answer to prayer!

We've been busy bee's while they've been here.  We went cherry and raspberry picking, rode a gondola, had picnics, went to the beach, had dinner out, movies, etc etc.  We went to the beach on Saturday.  I, Erica Lynn Kovacs, took off my clothes at the beach and didn't cover my flaws in front of my in-laws.  I swam with my kids and chose to enjoy myself instead of hide under layers of clothing.  I was very proud of myself.  I wasn't proud of my white, jello legs, but was proud I didn't let fear stand in my way of spending quality time with my kids. 


I'm a pale girl.  Like super pale.  I like to say that I reflect the sun I'm so white.  While at the beach I used some 50 spf sunscreen.  Apparently it was expired.  I didn't realize this until I got home 4 hours later and went to take a shower and when I took off my swimming suit I saw a red lobster girl in the mirror.  I was insanely red. Here's a picture I took with my phone after I got out of the shower.  It continued to redden and blister as the evening went on.

 My forehead and nose are so burned they're covered in water blisters.  My chest and shoulders hurt so bad I can't even wear a bra.  I tried to put on my sports bra for crossfit this morning and I couldn't do it.  It hurt so incredibly bad.  This is definitely the worst burn I've ever had.  I'm putting aloe on it every hour and doing everything I can to help it heal quickly.  I'm hoping that by tomorrow it'll be less painful so I can at least wear a bra.  I'm determined to get in my 3 crossfit workouts this week. 

On a different note, I was talking to hubby the other night about where I see myself in the next few years.  I told him that I want to start running 5K's and maybe even do like a mini triathlon.  I really really really want to be part of those types of competitions.  I have no desire to actually win but just to do them and actually finish.  I'm super excited about the prospect of actually becoming this athlete I keep dreaming about.  My dear sweet hubby just looked at me and said that he knows I can do it and that he can't wait to be cheering me on when I get there.  I love that man! 

Speaking of running.......I still hate it.....still loathe it with ever fiber of my being.........but it doesn't scare me as much as it did.  I will take that as a huge step in the right direction.