Fat Girl Walk of Shame at the Amusment Park

I've been in a bit of a depression the last couple days.  On Monday we went to Silverwood Theme Park with the kids.  It's like a smaller version of Six Flags in North Idaho.  I was nervous and didn't really want to go.  My kids all earned free tickets from a reading program they did at school last year and we promised we'd take them this summer.

As a child my parents would buy us family season passes every year.  And every year I remember seeing fat people get turned away after they couldn't fit in the rides.  I never wanted to be that person. 

I was super hesitant to even try a ride.  I chose to try the umbrellas first.  They were a little more forgiving as far as large people go.  The attendant had to wedge the bar deep into my thighs to get the bar to close properly.  I was absolutely mortified.  Here I'd just lost 5 inches off of each thigh and yet I still was no where near where I should be (size wise) to fit on the ride.  I was in physical pain the entire ride.  It hurt my legs so bad that I couldn't feel my feet by the time it was over.  It was everything I could do to hold it together and not cry.

I tried a couple more rides that I knew I could do, but 90% of the rides were totally off limits.  I just knew I'd be kicked off the ride for not being able to fit my fat ass in the seat.  I HATE BEING FAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT!  I would just walk around to different rides with the family and then wait while they stood in line.  It's humiliating to have to explain to my kids why I couldn't join them on the roller coasters. 

Instead of using Monday to fuel my desire to continue getting healthier, I stumbled.  I ate poorly yesterday.  I ate a pancake for breakfast, then for lunch ate about 10 cookies, and for dinner I had a small bowl of baked beans and a plate full of pasta salad.  No protein, no fruit or veggies, nothing healthy what so ever. Instead I ate nothing but carbs that left me feeling sick and lethargic. 

This morning I hit the snooze and figured I'd just skip my crossfit workout.  Somewhere around 8:30 I got up and decided that enough was enough.  I grabbed my workout clothes, ate a super quick breakfast, and got to crossfit just in the nick of time.  I'm so glad I went.  It helps keep my focus when I force myself and go.  I can't let a bad day at the amusement park ruin all that I have accomplished so far.  I have to keep fighting for what I want.

Our warm up and skill set was all arm and shoulder movements.  Ooooh my shoulders were burning!

Our WOD was a 12 minute AMRAP.

10 pushups
10 box hops (up and over the box)
10 overhead kettle bell swings

I was able to get 6 rounds in and 9 reps. 

Tomorrow is another day.  I will make smart choices tomorrow and get in my couch to 5k run in. 

Next year I'm going to go back to Silverwood and ride every single ride and I'll fit with ease!  Watch me!

CrossFit and the flu..........

I had to cancel my workout on Monday.  I was up most of the night with the flu and spent most of the day in bed.  I got a call Monday afternoon that my grandmother had died.  She'd been battling dementia for almost 10 years and it was heartbreaking to see her memory fade.  The last time I saw her was Christmas and she didn't know who I was.  It was then I knew that I had already lost my Nana. 

Fast forward to today and I still don't feel quite back to normal.  I'm still a bit nauseous, but chose to go to CrossFit anyway.  I'm determined to make this a normal part of my life.  I don't want sickness, death, whatever, to get in the way.  I have to change my life, I have to stick to my goals, I have to keep my eyes on the prize and not waver when life throws barriers in my way.

I had to modify just about everything we did today.  I had to keep reminding myself that I'm not there to impress anyone, I'm there to just keep getting better.  Our warm up wasn't too horrible, but the skill set had my stomach rolling.  We got a quick 3 or 4 min break between our skill set and our WOD, so I got a quick sip of water, used the restroom and told myself that no matter what I was not going to get sick. 

Our WOD today was what they called Ten Plus Two.  We had ten minutes to do as many rounds as possible.  8 push ups ( I did girly push ups), 10 toes to bar  (I did 20 second planks),  and 6 left & 6 right kettle bell snatches.  Once the ten minutes were up we did double unders for 2 minutes.  I just did regular single unders.  We were supposed to keep track of our rounds and write our scores on the white board.  I know I got over 4 rounds done but lost track when the pain started to set in.  I forgot to count my single unders.  I was just trying to not die and not puke on the floor.  SIGH...............one of these days I'll get my crap together.   ;)

After the WOD we did some deep stretches which felt great and then I headed home.  I've noticed it takes me a good hour to completely cool down after these workouts.  I still feel super sick to my stomach and food in general just sounds disgusting.  I'm hoping by Friday I'm back to normal and can kick some WOD ass.  hehe

What I ate today:

Breakfast~ 1/2 egg, 1 slice of bacon

post workout~1/3 protein shake

If I can stomach it, I'll have a salad with chicken and avocado for lunch and spaghetti (w spaghetti squash) for dinner. 

Frightened Fatty experiences her first WOD

My anniversary was lovely.  My husband went all out to make it a very special night.  I did have a little bit of non paleo foods, but nothing overkill.  The following day my tummy wasn't feeling super great.  I'm surprised how such a small amount of sugar and grains made me feel so yucky.  Oh well, onward and upward.

This morning I experienced my first real WOD.  I walked in nervous.  I'm tired of constantly being nervous!  The nice thing was as soon as I walked in I saw several moms and older women who were so nice.  They were very welcoming and made me feel at home.  The coaches were great at showing me how to do modified movements.  I really appreciate how they take time with each person, making sure everyone gets the best workout they can.  We started off with a warm up.  I had to jump over my partner and then they'd go up on their hands and toes while I crawled underneath them.  We did this 12 times.  I was sad to see that by the 6th or 7th jump, I could no longer jump with both feet together.  I was tired enough to have to do a step/jump instead of an actual feet together type jump.  I was pretty winded after doing 12.  Then everyone grabbed a heavy weighted ball and threw it on the ground as hard as they could and then would squat to pick it up....over and over and over.  I was told just to do squats.  My legs and lungs were burning just after the warm up. 

Next on the list was planks, squats, one armed clean thrusters (I know I'm not remember the exact term at the moment) .  I did 4 ten second planks, followed by 15 squats and then 12 thrusters on each arm....we did all of this for 4 rounds. 

After that it was time was our actual WOD.  *crying*  I was already drenched with sweat at this point and utterly exhausted.  I can't remember what most of the group did, but a few newbies, including myself did 10 push-ups and 150 sets of jumping rope for 3 rounds.  I learned something while jumping rope.  I learned that after having 3 kids and jumping up and down over and over and over and over causes some slight incontinence.  Sorry, but it's true.  I had to run to the restroom to get things all sorted out.  Good grief!  It took me a little over 9 minutes to finish my WOD.  I was just happy I showed up this morning and that I did my best with all the exercises.  I'm quite worn out and will probably crawl into bed when the kids do at 8:00pm.  *yawn*

What I ate today:

Breakfast~2 eggs, 2 slices of bacon

post workout snack~1/3 lara bar

Lunch~1 chicken breast cut up in bite size pieces and 2 cups of cut up pieces of asparagus sauteed in a little coconut oil and seasoned with spicy seasoning salt. 

snack~1 apple cut up with 2 TBS almond butter

Dinner~1 bowl of spicy chicken and vegetable soup

snack~2 squares dark chocolate and a cup of tea

Final bootcamp CrossFit workout.......

First off, I have to say that since starting Crossfit just a mere 10 days ago, I have lost 9 pounds.  I also can wear a shirt that I haven't been able to wear since I bought it over a year ago.  It's a cotton, spandex blend and every time I try it on, I look like I've been squeezed into in like a stuffed sausage.  I put it on today and not only did it fit comfortably, but it was a smidge too large.  Freaking amazing!!  Talk about quick results! 

I was super anxious to try the workout that kicked my behind 10 days ago.  I was feeling pretty confident that I'd be able to finish and not get sick.  We started off with several squats to warm us up and then Derek wrote on the board what our WOD was.  3 Rounds of 15-12-9 squats, push-ups, ring rows, and down and ups.  I was told to just do the modified, which was just 2 round of 12 and 9.  He started the clock and we were off.  The last couple down and ups were the only time I even stopped to catch my breath.  I finished and yelled TIME!  Derek just gave me a really suprised look.  He told me I did WAY WAY WAY better than he thought I was going to.  I did it in 4 min and 28 seconds.  Afterwards he told me that he knows I could've done the entire 3 rounds and you know what, I totally agree with him.  I felt good.  I still had energy to spare.  How is it possible for my body to change and adapt that quickly?!

Afterwards he went over membership options and we were free to either sign up and officially join, or to go home.  I went ahead and signed a 12 month contract for a membership that gives me 3 workouts a week.  I plan on going MWF at the 9:30am class.  It sounds like it has several other stay at home moms that come at that time.  I'd love to get to know some other women that have the same goals. 

I can't even put into words how happy and excited I am to really start this journey.  I feel like my life has real purpose.  I was talking to my mom after my workout and told her that the world had better watch out because I'm not only going to get in the best shape of my life, but I want to then become a coach/trainer to help others like myself.  Booya! I just feel like nothing can stop me.  I've been searching for a direction in which to live my life for years and years and I finally found it and NOTHING ......is going to stop me from reaching my goals. 

On another note, my family is doing much better and the husband and I get to get away for the night to celebrate our anniversary after all.  THANK YOU JESUS!  I will be checking in again after my 1st official CrossFit workout next Monday.  ♥

What I ate today:

Breakfast~green smoothie (spinach, strawberries, unsweetened vanilla almond milk, 1/2 scoop whey protein powder, chia seeds, stevia)

snack~handful of mixed nuts

Lunch~2 eggs, 2 turkey sausages, 1 oroblanco

preworkout snack~3oz of leftover steak and a small salad w/ homemade dressing

Dinner~2 eggs, the last of the turkey sausage, 1/2 diced avocado

snack~a cup of tea and 2 squares of dark chocolate