I've been in a bit of a depression the last couple days. On Monday we went to Silverwood Theme Park with the kids. It's like a smaller version of Six Flags in North Idaho. I was nervous and didn't really want to go. My kids all earned free tickets from a reading program they did at school last year and we promised we'd take them this summer.
As a child my parents would buy us family season passes every year. And every year I remember seeing fat people get turned away after they couldn't fit in the rides. I never wanted to be that person.
I was super hesitant to even try a ride. I chose to try the umbrellas first. They were a little more forgiving as far as large people go. The attendant had to wedge the bar deep into my thighs to get the bar to close properly. I was absolutely mortified. Here I'd just lost 5 inches off of each thigh and yet I still was no where near where I should be (size wise) to fit on the ride. I was in physical pain the entire ride. It hurt my legs so bad that I couldn't feel my feet by the time it was over. It was everything I could do to hold it together and not cry.
I tried a couple more rides that I knew I could do, but 90% of the rides were totally off limits. I just knew I'd be kicked off the ride for not being able to fit my fat ass in the seat. I HATE BEING FAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT! I would just walk around to different rides with the family and then wait while they stood in line. It's humiliating to have to explain to my kids why I couldn't join them on the roller coasters.
Instead of using Monday to fuel my desire to continue getting healthier, I stumbled. I ate poorly yesterday. I ate a pancake for breakfast, then for lunch ate about 10 cookies, and for dinner I had a small bowl of baked beans and a plate full of pasta salad. No protein, no fruit or veggies, nothing healthy what so ever. Instead I ate nothing but carbs that left me feeling sick and lethargic.
This morning I hit the snooze and figured I'd just skip my crossfit workout. Somewhere around 8:30 I got up and decided that enough was enough. I grabbed my workout clothes, ate a super quick breakfast, and got to crossfit just in the nick of time. I'm so glad I went. It helps keep my focus when I force myself and go. I can't let a bad day at the amusement park ruin all that I have accomplished so far. I have to keep fighting for what I want.
Our warm up and skill set was all arm and shoulder movements. Ooooh my shoulders were burning!
Our WOD was a 12 minute AMRAP.
10 box hops (up and over the box)
10 overhead kettle bell swings
I was able to get 6 rounds in and 9 reps.
Tomorrow is another day. I will make smart choices tomorrow and get in my couch to 5k run in.
Next year I'm going to go back to Silverwood and ride every single ride and I'll fit with ease! Watch me!