Sunday, September 1, 2013

cake, pie and donuts

I ended up not running on Thursday and wimped out on going to crossfit on Friday.  I was in a super bad mood and just couldn't bring myself to leave the house.  What is my problem?  I'm willing to bed I deal with some sort of depression issues.  My mood swings are a bit on the crazy side.  When I'm happy I'm SUPER happy....when I'm sad I'm SUPER sad...etc etc.......then again....maybe that's borderline bipolar.  All I know is I hate feeling like this but I can't afford to see a Dr. and I REALLY can't afford to be on any sort of medication. 

I ended up making enchiladas and chocolate cake on Friday.  I didn't eat the cake, but I did have a few swipes of the fudge frosting.  I even drank a beer.  Then on Saturday my husband brought home donuts for breakfast and a French silk pie to have with our bbq.  Hot dogs, pasta salad, baked beans, more beer and a big slice of pie.  Sunday (today) I had another two donuts for breakfast.  We went for a long hike in Montana and then went to a local Mexican restaurant to have dinner.  I feel physically ill......like my body has nothing buy garbage in it.  I suppose that's not too far from the truth.  I hate falling off the wagon. 

Come on crossfitcda, I need you to start that Paleo challenge.  I need to have a goal to work towards (like winning $)  and have an accountability partner.  Food has been my friend since grade school and I use it to soothe myself when I'm feeling emotionally sad, unhappy, frustrated, stressed ......you get the idea. 

Tomorrow I'm going to do my best to get back on the horse.  My house is now officially free of junk food and stocked to the gills with fresh produce.  I have got to continue taking steps in the right direction.  Tomorrow I'll be doing my running since crossfit is closed due to the holiday.