This has been a very tough week. Losing my grandmother and dealing with my weird flu like issues has taken it's toll on me emotionally. I woke up last night to the worst stomach pain. I just curled up in a ball and cried, it hurt so bad. I wish I knew what was causing it. I don't know if it's some weird stomach bug, or if there is something more serious going on.
I woke up still feeling not quite "normal" but decided to head to CrossFit anyway. After the warm up I could tell my endurance just wasn't there. I had no more pep left. I slowly made it through the skill set, trying to reserve as much energy as I had for the WOD. We had three rounds 21, 15, 9 of dumbbell thrusters and 400 meters of either rowing or running.
I grabbed the 15 lb dumbbells and did my 21 thrusters and realized that they were too heavy. I could see all these small women using 25lbs and up, but unfortunately I'm just not there yet. I set the dumbbells aside and climbed onto the rower. I was able to bust out the 1st 400 meters without too much pain and found myself a lighter pair of dumbbells and did another 15 thrusters. The second round of rowing was much harder. I kept closing my eyes trying to focus on why I was there. I thought about how I'm changing my life, and forcing myself to do something I've always wanted to do. I was pouring sweat by the end of that round. Round three, Megan found me and told me to do my last round of thrusters without taking any stops or breaks. I was starting to get frustrated with myself because about half of the people in my class had already finished and were just standing around waiting for the rest of us. I started to feel self conscious. I finished my thrusters and reluctantly slinked over to the rower for one last 400 meter row. About 100 meters in and everything in my brain told me to stop. I was in too much pain, breathing was becoming difficult, my muscles couldn't pull anymore.............that's when Megan found me again. She stood behind me and kept encouraging me to finish strong. The last 50 meters I could feel the tears well up in my eyes and I tried to blink them back. I finally finished my workout and I just sat on the rower, exhausted and I couldn't force back the tears any longer. I just sat there and sobbed for a good two solid minutes. So many emotions and thoughts were running through my head. Why did I let myself get so out of shape, why couldn't I be better, or stronger, or anything other than what I was. I felt so much self hate at that moment. When I was finally able to stop the tears I turned around and realized the entire class was sitting there waiting for me to get off the effing rower so we could all do a cool down stretch together.
I could feel my face burn with humiliation. Here I was on display for the class while I cried and they sat there waiting for me to finish. Could I be any more of a freaking loser?! I did my cool down stretches and bolted out of there. I sat in my car and cried again. I know I'm only in my 1st month at CrossFit but I'm so ready to be stronger.....mentally and physically.
What I ate today:
Breakfast~bacon and eggs
post workout~small chocolate protein shake
Lunch~greek salad with chicken
Dinner~paleo chicken soup
Showing posts with label rowing machine. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rowing machine. Show all posts
Friday, April 19, 2013
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Running running running........
Ok, so I wrote a huge long post yesterday only to accidentally delete the entire post. Grrr! So today I will recap and it won't be nearly as long nor entertaining as the previous one was. ;)
I was pretty tired Friday morning and my brain tried to convince myself that I didn't need to go to CrossFit, but I told my brain to SHUT IT and I went anyway. As soon as I walked in and looked at that day's WOD (workout of the day) I wished I had stayed in bed.
Our warm up was a 400 meter run. Then we ran with high knees for 100m, butt kicks for 100m, backwards for 100m and skipping with high knees for the remaining 100m. I felt quite sick after all that. My lungs burned, my legs were shaking, I felt just awful. Next we went back into the box and did several leg exercises back and forth. As I looked around it seemed everyone in there was exhausted and that made me feel better. I wasn't the only one in some serious pain. Our WOD to run 800 meters for time, row 500 meters for time, and ride the airdyne bike for 1 min and try to burn as many calories as possible.
We had 45 minutes to complete those three items and could take as much time as we needed to rest in between. I took a 5 min break, drank some water and did the running first since I loathe it with every fiber of my being. I was able to jog 200m, walk 200m, jog 100m, walk 200m, jog 100m. My time was 6 min 50 sec. I got the worst time by far. I rested for another 5 min and did the bike next. I burned 16 calories in my 1 minute. I was 2nd to worst. After another 5 minute break I climbed onto the rower. I was able to row the first 300 meters without too much pain but the last 200 meters were a KILLER! Everything hurt so bad I wanted to quit and just start crying. Megan came over and stood behind me and kept telling me to pull harder, use my hips, push off with my heels faster etc etc. She was encouraging me to finish strong. The pain my muscles felt was incredible. I finished in 2min 58 seconds. I wanted to collapse and die. Lungs, legs, arms, everything burned and hurt. After collecting myself I rolled out my muscles on a foam roller and went home.
It was by far the hardest thing I've done to date at CrossFit. Although my times are far behind everyone else, I'm just happy I'm able to complete the tasks given to me. That in and of itself is very rewarding.
What I ate:
Breakfast~2 eggs, 2 turkey sausages
post workout snack~1 apple, 2 TBS almond butter
Lunch~1/2 avocado, 1/2 can of albacore tuna, 1 hard boiled egg mashed together w/ a little salt and pepper
Dinner~Paleo sloppy joe stuffed peppers and sweet potato fries
snack~2 squares dark choc with blueberries
I was pretty tired Friday morning and my brain tried to convince myself that I didn't need to go to CrossFit, but I told my brain to SHUT IT and I went anyway. As soon as I walked in and looked at that day's WOD (workout of the day) I wished I had stayed in bed.
Our warm up was a 400 meter run. Then we ran with high knees for 100m, butt kicks for 100m, backwards for 100m and skipping with high knees for the remaining 100m. I felt quite sick after all that. My lungs burned, my legs were shaking, I felt just awful. Next we went back into the box and did several leg exercises back and forth. As I looked around it seemed everyone in there was exhausted and that made me feel better. I wasn't the only one in some serious pain. Our WOD to run 800 meters for time, row 500 meters for time, and ride the airdyne bike for 1 min and try to burn as many calories as possible.
We had 45 minutes to complete those three items and could take as much time as we needed to rest in between. I took a 5 min break, drank some water and did the running first since I loathe it with every fiber of my being. I was able to jog 200m, walk 200m, jog 100m, walk 200m, jog 100m. My time was 6 min 50 sec. I got the worst time by far. I rested for another 5 min and did the bike next. I burned 16 calories in my 1 minute. I was 2nd to worst. After another 5 minute break I climbed onto the rower. I was able to row the first 300 meters without too much pain but the last 200 meters were a KILLER! Everything hurt so bad I wanted to quit and just start crying. Megan came over and stood behind me and kept telling me to pull harder, use my hips, push off with my heels faster etc etc. She was encouraging me to finish strong. The pain my muscles felt was incredible. I finished in 2min 58 seconds. I wanted to collapse and die. Lungs, legs, arms, everything burned and hurt. After collecting myself I rolled out my muscles on a foam roller and went home.
It was by far the hardest thing I've done to date at CrossFit. Although my times are far behind everyone else, I'm just happy I'm able to complete the tasks given to me. That in and of itself is very rewarding.
What I ate:
Breakfast~2 eggs, 2 turkey sausages
post workout snack~1 apple, 2 TBS almond butter
Lunch~1/2 avocado, 1/2 can of albacore tuna, 1 hard boiled egg mashed together w/ a little salt and pepper
Dinner~Paleo sloppy joe stuffed peppers and sweet potato fries
snack~2 squares dark choc with blueberries
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Thank you Mother, can I have another?
I can't believe my 1st week at CrossFit is over!!! I made it! I'm still alive! What was just a dream a mere three weeks ago has turned into a full fledged reality. I love it! Bootcamp workout number three was great. I didn't puke and I was able to (almost) keep up with the others. I'm pretty sure our bootcamp workouts aren't as hard as regular WOD's (workout of the day) but I'm not sure.
I realized today as I walked into the box that I wasn't as nervous, I was starting to feel a tiny bit at home and it wasn't such a scary place. Megan saw me almost immediately and yelled out my name and clapped her hands. She was happy I came back. She hasn't seen me since my puke fest on day one. It felt good to have someone happy to have me there.
We started with a warm up of....you guessed it......SQUATS. Oh lordy lordy......I'm starting to think they'll be the death of me. After squats we got dumbbells and did some exercises where we held them at our shoulders, elbows pointing forward, we'd do a quick, mini squat and jump up and thrust the dumbbells straight above our heads. I can't remember the name for them. I didn't get the lightest dumbbells, which were 5 lbs each, but I did get the 8 lb ones. One guy got 40 lb dumbells!! We did exactly 372.8 thrusts.....well......it felt like it. Afterwards we got out the rowing machines. Those looked nice and easy. I'm starting to realize quickly that there isn't ANYTHING nice and easy when it comes to CrossFit.
We got a short lesson on form and then we were told to keep our rowing at a certain speed. They all have digital monitors on them so we could see how fast we were going. Derek yelled at us to go faster. We held that new speed for a couple minutes and then he told us to go even faster! My upper arms and shoulders felt like they were going to burst into flames. Sweat was pouring down the sides of my face and my left heel kept slipping out of my shoe with each thrust. It's amazing how itchy dripping sweat can be when you can't take the time to wipe it away. After killing ourselves on the rowing machines we were able to take a quick water break.
As the group finished our 1 minute break we were told to get into teams of two. A nice girl ( I wish I knew her name) offered to be in my group. We had to row 250 meters, then jump off the machine and do 12 dumbbell thrusts before the other person could start rowing. We each did 3 sets of both exercises and we raced all the other teams. Derek pulled me aside and told me to do 200 meters on the rowing machine. He didn't say, if I wanted to, he told me that's what he wanted me to do, so I followed his instruction. I'm glad I did. That workout pushed me literally to my very limit. I think that if I had to row that extra 50 meters all three rounds I wouldn't have been able to finish. Our team came in last, but only by about 5 seconds. Everyone cheered everyone else on and when we all finished we gave each other high fives.
I felt so powerful tonight. I was living my dream. I was following through with something. I was DOING IT!!! Afterwards I met up with my sister. She lives several hours away and I only see her a few times a year. We met up and we went to a Mexican restaurant so I could eat since I was famished. I ordered a taco salad with no shell, no cheese, and no sour cream. I asked for guacamole and salsa instead and got shredded beef for my protein. It was so delicious. I washed it down with an ice water and felt like a million bucks. I didn't eat any chips and salsa and it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be to say no. I got a workout in, and went out to eat without cheating, what a great day! I'm looking forward to having 3 days off to rest and just enjoy my family during the Easter holiday. I'll blog again after next Monday's workout. =)
What I ate today:
breakfast~2 eggs, 2 slices of bacon, 1 cup fresh pineapple
snack~1 square of dark chocolate and 1 TBS almond butter
lunch~paleo banana pancakes
dinner~taco salad
I realized today as I walked into the box that I wasn't as nervous, I was starting to feel a tiny bit at home and it wasn't such a scary place. Megan saw me almost immediately and yelled out my name and clapped her hands. She was happy I came back. She hasn't seen me since my puke fest on day one. It felt good to have someone happy to have me there.
We started with a warm up of....you guessed it......SQUATS. Oh lordy lordy......I'm starting to think they'll be the death of me. After squats we got dumbbells and did some exercises where we held them at our shoulders, elbows pointing forward, we'd do a quick, mini squat and jump up and thrust the dumbbells straight above our heads. I can't remember the name for them. I didn't get the lightest dumbbells, which were 5 lbs each, but I did get the 8 lb ones. One guy got 40 lb dumbells!! We did exactly 372.8 thrusts.....well......it felt like it. Afterwards we got out the rowing machines. Those looked nice and easy. I'm starting to realize quickly that there isn't ANYTHING nice and easy when it comes to CrossFit.
We got a short lesson on form and then we were told to keep our rowing at a certain speed. They all have digital monitors on them so we could see how fast we were going. Derek yelled at us to go faster. We held that new speed for a couple minutes and then he told us to go even faster! My upper arms and shoulders felt like they were going to burst into flames. Sweat was pouring down the sides of my face and my left heel kept slipping out of my shoe with each thrust. It's amazing how itchy dripping sweat can be when you can't take the time to wipe it away. After killing ourselves on the rowing machines we were able to take a quick water break.
As the group finished our 1 minute break we were told to get into teams of two. A nice girl ( I wish I knew her name) offered to be in my group. We had to row 250 meters, then jump off the machine and do 12 dumbbell thrusts before the other person could start rowing. We each did 3 sets of both exercises and we raced all the other teams. Derek pulled me aside and told me to do 200 meters on the rowing machine. He didn't say, if I wanted to, he told me that's what he wanted me to do, so I followed his instruction. I'm glad I did. That workout pushed me literally to my very limit. I think that if I had to row that extra 50 meters all three rounds I wouldn't have been able to finish. Our team came in last, but only by about 5 seconds. Everyone cheered everyone else on and when we all finished we gave each other high fives.
I felt so powerful tonight. I was living my dream. I was following through with something. I was DOING IT!!! Afterwards I met up with my sister. She lives several hours away and I only see her a few times a year. We met up and we went to a Mexican restaurant so I could eat since I was famished. I ordered a taco salad with no shell, no cheese, and no sour cream. I asked for guacamole and salsa instead and got shredded beef for my protein. It was so delicious. I washed it down with an ice water and felt like a million bucks. I didn't eat any chips and salsa and it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be to say no. I got a workout in, and went out to eat without cheating, what a great day! I'm looking forward to having 3 days off to rest and just enjoy my family during the Easter holiday. I'll blog again after next Monday's workout. =)
What I ate today:
breakfast~2 eggs, 2 slices of bacon, 1 cup fresh pineapple
snack~1 square of dark chocolate and 1 TBS almond butter
lunch~paleo banana pancakes
dinner~taco salad
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