Crushed today's workout....well kinda

Felt great this morning.  I got lots of much needed sleep and woke up feeling energized and roaring to go.  It's also a gorgeous Fall day.  Clear blue sky, a light crisp wind and gorgeous Fall colors everywhere you look. 

Our warm up was a partner medicine ball run.  We used a 15 pound ball and would throw it to our partner, then run ahead about 10 feet and they throw it back.  We did that for 300 meters and then we switched to squatting and then springing up and throwing the ball to our partner and then running ahead back and forth for the last 100 meters. 

Our skill set was a KILLER!!!  We were told to grab two kettle bells, they didn't have to be the same weight.  I grabbed a 25 lb bell and an 18 lb bell.  We went outside and started walking.  J (Jonathan) told us to raise our right arm all the way up and lock out the elbow.  We walked about 20 feet and then switched arms.  Next we held both bells up by our chins and did squats.  Deep squats and then we'd stand up, over and over for a couple minutes.  Next we held both bells up above our head and walked about 100 meters.  Then we stopped and did kettle bell swings with both bells at the same time.  My arms and lungs were burning so bad!  We then started walking again, alternating arms above the head.  Next we did about 100 meters of lunges with the bells. Finally we were told to just do a farmers carry for an additional 200 meters and then go inside for the WOD.  Even though it's COLD outside, I was pouring sweat.  I was regretting the size bells I chose.....although I was able to complete the skill set, so I guess I should be pleased. 

The WOD was done with a partner. 

10-1 reps (so we'd each to 10 of each move, then 9 of each move, then 8 then 7 and so on and so forth until you get down to 1 each. 

They gave us 20 minutes to complete it. 

The exercises were
*thrusters

*pull ups

*hand release push ups

I felt great going into the workout.  I was fast.  My partner is a gal who is fairly new and is slower than me.  Although she's stronger than me in some areas, she's also slower.  If the WOD was completed then we'd have done a total of 55 of each of the moves.  We weren't able to get the last three rounds in before time was up.  So we finished 49 of each of the moves.  It was ok.  I know I could've finished the WOD with a faster partner, but all in all it was not a big deal.  We all got in an amazing workout and we tried our best and that it what it's all about. 

They're offering a new class on Tuesday nights from 6:30-7:30 called Hearts and Barbells.  All I know is that it has something to do with lots of heavy lifting.  I'm going to go tomorrow evening to check it out.  I'm a little nervous since the 9:30 am class in my safe bubble.  I know the people that go and I feel comfortable with them now.  I'm guessing there will be a ton of people I don't know attending this new class and that makes me really nervous.  Eeeek! 

What a way to end the week!

I feel like whenever I blog I tend to say the same things.....I woke up and didn't want to go to crossfit.  haha  But it's always the truth.  It was a cold and dark morning and staying in my warm bed and catching some extra Zzzz's seemed much more appealing than putting on workout clothes and going to the gym. 

I guess the good news is that I DID go and got my butt handed to me on a silver platter. 

We started off with ladder drills.  This was my 1st time doing them.  They were actually kind of fun.  They put a rope ladder on the ground and we had to do various things like jump squatting on each rung, or hopping in and out of the squares etc etc. 

For the skill set we did 4 sets of 5 Turkish get-ups on each arm.  After the 1st two rounds we did four 20 second plank holds, then more Turkish get-ups, followed by 4 more plank holds.  My core, my legs, and my arms were shaking.  My muscles were TIRED!

Our WOD was awful.  I felt nauseous half way through.  Thankfully I didn't get sick.  In groups of two we did (all with weighted bar bells)

50 squat thrusters
20 walking lunges
50 overhead squats
20 walking lunges
50 back squats
20 walking lunges

My partner and I finished in 9:54

I just wanted to lie on the ground in my puddle of sweat and not move.  I'm so so so tired!!  That WOD was a fine line from my breaking point.  I could feel myself get a little teary eyed towards the end, which always tells me that I hit my limit. 

I'm going to take a long, warm, bubble bath and possibly a nap before the kids get home from school.  I think I deserve it. 

Epic Meltdown

Today's WOD was labeled "Turrible"....in dedication to Charles Barkley.  Anyhoo, today's workout was indeed terrible. 

It was a total of 9 rounds. 

First round was 9 sets of dumbbell thrusters, followed by lunges to the other end of the gym, then 9 box jumps, and lastly bear crawls back to the beginning. 

2nd round was 8 sets, and so on and so forth.  We got 20 minutes to try and complete all 9 rounds.  Derek told our group (I was bunched with the two pregnant women) to start at 7 sets and go down to 1.  After just the first couple of rounds my heart rate was sky high and I was finding it hard to catch my breath.  By the time I finished my 5th round Derek asked me if I was feeling ok and I told him I was.  I mean, I was exhausted, but all in all I was fine.  I got down to the last round and the 20 minute mark was fast approaching.  Meagan encouraged me to finish my bear crawl back to the beginning and I barely did it.  At this point, my emotions just took over and I sat on my knees and just lost it.  All the emotion from the last few days with my husband and the emotion from pushing myself past any limit I thought I had, just came pouring out of me. 

I was so angry with myself.  I HATE CRYING SO FLIPPING MUCH!  Derek and Meagan pulled me outside so I could calm down.  Derek thought I was crying because I pushed myself too far.  It took a few minutes of me just explaining that it wasn't that.  I was just proud of myself for doing something I've never ever ever done before!  When things get hard, my entire life I've always quit.  Literally every single time.  For the first time in 33 years, I'm pushing myself despite how hard it is and I'm not quitting.  That's extremely emotional for me.  The girl who used to turn to cake or pasta when life got hard is now turning to working out and eating right.  I finally convinced him and he went back inside.  Meagan asked me how everything else in my life was going and I lost it again.  I explain the situation with my husband and how I blame myself for his actions.  I blame my fatness on him doing what he does.  She was very understanding and gave me some great advice.  I can't thank her enough.  This journey I'm on is hard.  I can't put into words just how hard it is. 

I drove home and just sobbed the entire time.  Once those floodgates were opened, it's hard to pull it back together.  I'm exhausted physically and mentally today.  I'm thankful that tomorrow I get a bit of a break and will be running instead of going to crossfit. 

I will make this lifestyle change.  I will become an athlete.  I will succeed, I don't care how hard it is. 

Fran Pictures

So I told you they pulled out the blasted camera and took pictures.  I decided that instead of freaking out about how fat I looked in the pictures, I'm going to relish them because someday when I've reached my destination I can look through all the pictures and see just how far I've really come.  I'm the big one, with the black pants and green shirt......the one with the double ass.  ;)


So this first picture is us listening to Derek while he showed us the proper form to do the thrusters.

Here I was resting between hollow rocks and barbell push presses.



Me and my thick thighs waiting to do the push presses.

Here I am doing thrusters for Fran.

I use the rings to do my modified pull-ups.

Wanting to die, my arms hurt so bad!

I tucked my shirt into my pants because when my arms go above my head my shirt comes up and exposes my nasty Pillsbury belly.  Ew!

 

I feel so exposed having these pics out there floating around cyber space.  On the other hand it's also great motivation for me to keep going, because I hate the way I look and this makes me want to stay on the path to health and fitness.

Fran

For those of you who are not familiar with the WOD Fran, consider yourself lucky.  She's a beast who will wipe the gym with your behind.  I got introduced to her today.  Many of the WOD's at CrossFit have girl names and Fran is one of them. 

Fran is 21 reps 15 reps and 9 reps of thrusters and pull-ups. 


Thrusters are when you are in a deep squat and you're holding the bar on your shoulders and you thrust upwards with your hips and drive the barbell over your head. 

 

Doing 21 of those in a row felt like my entire body had been lit on fire.  Since I'm not strong enough to do actual pull-ups, I use the rings and do a modified version. 

 

 

I was able to complete the workout in 5:33.  Derek said that if we finish in under 5 minutes while doing it modified, then it's time to add more weight and or upgrade the pull-ups.  I bet next time Fran comes around I'm able to add some weight on my 35 pound bar. 

 

 

My arms feel like rubber.  I lifted my hand to tuck a stray hair behind my ear and it felt like a 100 pounds.  haha 

 

So while I was at Crossfit they pulled out a big ass camera and started snapping pictures of us doing our warmup and workouts.  UGH!!!  Pictures are something I fear greatly!  They always post pictures on facebook, so I know that within a few hours my fattie self with be available for all to see.  Kill me, kill me now.  Now that I'm thinking about it, I realized I signed a waiver for them to take and post pictures of me when I signed up for bootcamp.  Dang it, what was I thinking?!  I wasn't thinking, I was shaking in my boots with terror of just being in the CrossFit building.   *smacks head on brick wall over and over and over and........*

 

 

 



 

 

 

Humiliated

This has been a very tough week.  Losing my grandmother and dealing with my weird flu like issues has taken it's toll on me emotionally.  I woke up last night to the worst stomach pain.  I just curled up in a ball and cried, it hurt so bad.  I wish I knew what was causing it.  I don't know if it's some weird stomach bug, or if there is something more serious going on. 

I woke up still feeling not quite "normal" but decided to head to CrossFit anyway.  After the warm up I could tell my endurance just wasn't there.  I had no more pep left.  I slowly made it through the skill set, trying to reserve as much energy as I had for the WOD.  We had three rounds 21, 15, 9 of dumbbell thrusters and 400 meters of either rowing or running. 

I grabbed the 15 lb dumbbells and did my 21 thrusters and realized that they were too heavy.  I could see all these small women using 25lbs and up, but unfortunately I'm just not there yet.  I set the dumbbells aside and climbed onto the rower.  I was able to bust out the 1st 400 meters without too much pain and found myself a lighter pair of dumbbells and did another 15 thrusters.  The second round of rowing was much harder.  I kept closing my eyes trying to focus on why I was there.  I thought about how I'm changing my life, and forcing myself to do something I've always wanted to do.  I was pouring sweat by the end of that round.  Round three, Megan found me and told me to do my last round of thrusters without taking any stops or breaks.  I was starting to get frustrated with myself because about half of the people in my class had already finished and were just standing around waiting for the rest of us.  I started to feel self conscious.  I finished my thrusters and reluctantly slinked over to the rower for one last 400 meter row.  About 100 meters in and everything in my brain told me to stop.  I was in too much pain, breathing was becoming difficult, my muscles couldn't pull anymore.............that's when Megan found me again.  She stood behind me and kept encouraging me to finish strong.  The last 50 meters I could feel the tears well up in my eyes and I tried to blink them back.  I finally finished my workout and I just sat on the rower, exhausted and I couldn't force back the tears any longer.  I just sat there and sobbed for a good two solid minutes.  So many emotions and thoughts were running through my head.  Why did I let myself get so out of shape, why couldn't I be better, or stronger, or anything other than what I was.  I felt so much self hate at that moment.  When I was finally able to stop the tears I turned around and realized the entire class was sitting there waiting for me to get off the effing rower so we could all do a cool down stretch together.

I could feel my face burn with humiliation.  Here I was on display for the class while I cried and they sat there waiting for me to finish.  Could I be any more of a freaking loser?!  I did my cool down stretches and bolted out of there.  I sat in my car and cried again.  I know I'm only in my 1st month at CrossFit but I'm so ready to be stronger.....mentally and physically. 

What I ate today:

Breakfast~bacon and eggs

post workout~small chocolate protein shake

Lunch~greek salad with chicken

Dinner~paleo chicken soup