Thanksgiving 5K

Happy Thanksgiving!!  I'm looking forward to spending the day surrounded by family and good food, but first I'm going to be walking/running a Turkey Day 5K.  =)  I mapped it out on googlemaps and found the perfect 5K loop.  Hubby said he'd come with me and we'll bring the lab as well.  I think this should become a yearly tradition. 

Hope you all have a nice, relaxing day.♥

Pain in the neck!

This is my neck after doing 125# back squats today.  I sent this picture to my coaches and they said I'm holding the bar too high and that I need to keep the bar lower.....basically on top of my traps.  Whatever traps are.  Derek said he'd show me tomorrow how to fix my form.  In the mean time I am freaking SORE!  Not only from all the back squats, which by the way was a 40 lb PR for me!  Woot woot!  I did 5 sets of 5 at 125 lbs.  That's a huge increase from what I have been doing. 

We also did FRAN yesterday.  I used 20 lbs more on my bar and boy oh boy did I feel it!  I woke up several times last night because every time I moved my muscles I would be in quite a bit of pain.  I'm taking today off completely to rest and recover.  Maybe I'll get a jump start on Thanksgiving preparations. 

Do you feel like because your body doesn't look the way you want that it holds you back from life?  I let how I feel about myself dictate just about every facet of my life.  I hate that!  I really wanted to wear a dress for the holidays but I feel like I'll look like a whale so I won't. In fact, because I still hate how my body looks I won't even go buy a new outfit.  I can't stand the thought of spending money on clothes that are huge.  I don't know how to love myself where I currently am and that really bothers me.  How does a person change that? 

1st ever family photos taken!

I've been  MIA for awhile now.  I developed a nasty case of bronchitis right before I left to go see my sister in Boise.  I had to cancel our 5K run.  I was miserable!  We pretty much just sat around and watched movies and talked.  Anything else hurt my lungs too much.  Even after I returned home I took off an entire week of crossfit to let my body heal. 

A couple weeks ago my husband took Friday off from work and he went with me to crossfit.  It was awesome for him to get to see what it's like first hand.  They let a family member try a class for free.  I know he wants to start boot camp soon.  He's itching to get involved in some sort of exercise and I think this will be perfect for him.  While there, we worked on deadlifts.  I hadn't been at crossfit for 2 1/2 weeks and during that time I was crazy sick and weak.  We worked on finding our 1 rep max.  Basically the most you can lift in just one lift.  My last 1 rep max was 160 lbs.  Meagan told me to not expect to lift that much since I've been gone for a long time and because I'd been sick.  I ended up lifting 205 lbs!!  I beat my last PR (personal record) by 45 lbs!  I was soo excited!  The WOD was awful.  I could really tell my endurance was way down. 

Last week I just went to class twice and this week I fully plan on going all three days.  It feels good to be back on the horse. 

So I hired Meagan ( one of my wonderful trainers) to take some photos of me and my family.  We've never.....like EVER....had family photos taken.  Every year my husband wants to and I decline saying that I'm too fat and that we can do it the following year.  This has been going on for 11 years.  Well Meagan posted on facebook that she does photography and I looked at some of her work and it was really good.  I went ahead, bit the bullet, and signed us up.  It was extremely hard for me to let someone take full body shots of me.  I hate sounding so selfish.....but all I could think about was how huge I still was.  I got our photos back a few days ago.  Meagan did an amazing job!  There are a few photos I'd like to banish forever, but instead I'm going to keep them so I can remember how I truly looked through my journey.  I much prefer the pictures from the waist up, but whatever...it is what it is.  I thought I'd share a few pictures...some good ones,  and one or two that make me feel insecure. 

 

An ass picture, really?!  BLAH!  It's like twice as big as my husband's.  On a good note, I had a couple people this week tell me at crossfit  that I was looking slimmer.  Hey, I'll take any compliment I can get. 

We also just got a 9 week old miniature dachshund puppy.  We named her Juniper.  She's a sweetie pie.  ♥

full blown bronchitis

Well no wonder I was feeling so icky.  My nasty cold turned into nasty bronchitis.  I love how when you get it the Dr. will tell you to "get lots of rest".  I'm averaging 3-4 hours of sleep per night due to all the coughing.  That's awful! 

I fly to Boise this afternoon to visit my sister.  We're changing all our plans to basically staying in and just watching movies together since I'm not feeling well.  It'll still be fun just to have a break from the kids and spend some quality time w/ my sis.

Last night after trying to fall asleep for several hours, I got up and drew a hot bath.  I poured in a few drops of tea tree oil into the bath and soaked for almost an hour.  I can't believe what a difference that has made.  Instead of tight cough it's now loose and it feels like the mucus in the bronchial tubes is breaking free.  Hurray for little improvements!

Yesterday, Meagan my crossfit trainer, took family photos of us.  We've never had nice photos taken.....EVER!  My husband has been wanting them done for years and every year I tell him the same thing..........when I lose some more weight,  when I go down a few more sizes...etc. etc.  I still have a LONG way to go, but I did it.  It was incredibly hard for me to let someone take full body shots of me.  I don't mind how I look from the shoulders up......it's everything below that makes me uncomfortable.  I'm nervous about getting the pictures back.  It's like you know in your head you are really large but nothing puts it quite in perspective like seeing your entire body in a photo does. 

While Meagan was taking our pictures I asked her about working out at crossfit while getting over bronchitis and she said that after I get home from Boise I can go back to class but they'll just have me do exercises that won't strain my body/lungs very much.  I'm thankful because I didn't want to be forced to still on my tush for another 1-3 weeks while I get over this thing. 

Happy Halloween!

zero appetite

So two weeks ago was amazing.  I felt strong, and I saw incredible gains in my fitness.  Last week on  Tuesday I helped some friends of ours split and stack tons of firewood.  These chunks of wood I had to carry over to the log splitter were all approx.  100 lbs each.  There is no way I'd have been able to help with that task before crossfit, no flippin way.  I felt great, worked for several hours and came home to veg for the rest of the day.  Soon after I got home my throat started to hurt and by bedtime it hurt so bad I could barely even swallow water.  I got ZERO sleep that night.  I was in so much pain it was ridiculous!  The next day I got all the other symptoms that come with a nasty cold.  I've been sick over a week and I'm still really sick.  Everything has settled into my chest causing me to cough CONSTANTLY!  I even pulled a muscle in my neck a couple nights ago due to the coughing fits. To say I'm frustrated is an understatement.  I leave for Boise in two days.  Unless a miracle happens I'm not going to be able to run my 5K that I've been training for.  I'm really really at my wits end.  I'm exhausted and have no appetite.  It's almost like I'm too tired to even go to the kitchen to find something to eat.  So basic house cleaning has gone to the wayside as well.  My husband has been out of town all of last week and part of this week.  Somehow I'm supposed to pull the house together, get food prepared for hubby and the kids to eat while I'm gone, balance the finances, and get costumes finished for the kids.   AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!  I think beating my head against a brick wall sounds much more appealing.

Fantastic end to the week!

Thursday was a great day.  I had three different people at crossfit tell me that they could tell I was getting smaller.  YAY!! 

Warm Up:
thoracic mobility
glute activation
Skill: ass-ist
3×10 romanian deadlift  ( I was able to do 90 lbs, much less weight than regular deadlifts.)
3×10, 1×15 BB glute bridge ( I went way heavier with this that I ever have before.  I used 140lbs)

WOD: Dels
20″ max effort sled drag, with 1:40 rest. Load up with as much as you can move quickly- stronger athletes will get bodyweight+. Repeat 8x.  (I used 135 lbs.  The most I've ever used before was about 100 lbs.)
after, grab a heavy kettlebell and swing (russian):
10 reps, 2 breaths
15 reps, 3 breaths
25 reps, 4 breaths
50 reps.
keep tech snappy and perfect, with as quick of a tempo as you can manage. (I used an 18lb bell. This was harder than I thought it was going to be.  Those last 50 swings were killer!)

I left Thursday feeling on top of the world. 


Friday was also fabulous!

Warm Up:
buddy row, get 500m each.  Teams of three.   ( I was able to row faster than I've ever rowed before.  Yay!!!!)
-rest when you get off the rower
-when a buddy transitions to rest, get 10 perfect squats.
Skill: snatch
thacker WU+
12 sets, ascending: snatch from position 2+snatch from position 1
Skill Option: KB ascendency 
one-arm swing, 10 reps
lateral swing, 10 reps
KB snatch, 10 reps.
switch sides, get 4 sets each side.
after, get 3×10 1 arm sott’s press
WOD: Hurler
20 pistol (alternating, 20 each leg) ( I did box step ups while holding a 25lb kettlebell)
then, 21-15-9 reps of

front squat 135/95 ( Used 45lb bar.....not even close to where I want to be on the front squats)

ring dip (not strong enough to do these yet, so I did pushups instead)

finish with 150x double under. ( For those that can't do double unders we were to attempt to do 50 and then do 300 single unders.  I actually was able to do 15 double unders.  15  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I have never been able to even do 1 before.  I couldn't believe it! )


All in all it was a fabulous week!  I'm so thankful since the last few weeks I've felt down, weak and not very motivated.  I so needed a good week. 

It's a little chilly, but it's a clear blue sky and gorgeous outside.  Enjoy your weekend, I know I'm going to.  =)

Panicked at the grocery store!

I keep forgetting to mention this in my blogs.  I don't know what the heck is going on lately but whenever I go grocery shopping I get all panicked and nervous.  I'm embarrassed to be there.  I'm humiliated that people can see me buying food, even if it's healthy food.  I've never experienced this ever before.  I won't look people in the eye, I find myself darting down isles with the fewest people to avoid being seen.  What the heck?!  I haven't told anyone about this yet.  Have you ever experienced such a thing?

Biggest Loser Season 15 Premiere + Hearts and Barbells 1st workout

I love the Biggest Loser!  It inspires me and I bawl like a baby each week when I watch it.  My husband thinks I'm crazy.  He doesn't understand why people watch those kinds of shows.  For me it's because I can relate.  I know the pain of being heavy.  I know what it feels like.  I know the struggle.  I know what having a food addiction is like.  I get it.  I've been there....and am still there in a way. 

Yesterday I attended our crossfit's first Hearts and Barbell class.  I was insanely nervous.  All day I kept telling myself that attending this class was a joke.  I was a nobody.  It wasn't for me.  It was for a true athlete.  Negative thought after negative thought all day long.  I was a relatively small class.  They only allow the 1st 12 people that sign up to attend. 

I was shaking in my boots when I walked through those doors last night.  Again, I feel pretty secure in my 9:30am class....but the evening classes I don't know anyone and feel like it's day one all over again.  I signed in, got my kiddos settled into the child area, used the restroom, and started stretching.  Everyone had proper lifting shoes but me.  Ugh, I hate being the only person who doesn't fit in. 

Well the workout was killer, but definitely in a good way.  Derek mentioned at the beginning of the class that it was ok to stop a take a breather if things got too intense.  Much to my surprise I was able to keep up with the group.  BOOYA!   Now I was lifting the lightest amount of weight, but who freaking cares.  I went, I conquered my fear of the unknown, and I finished the class.  I really really liked it.  I'm looking forward to going next Tuesday night as well. 

We did a ton of hang squat snatches.  These get easier as your form gets better.  Once you get the hang of them, you feel a little bit bad ass.  =) 

I love using the barbell more than almost anything else at crossfit.  I think I will continue with this new class.  I am SOOOO incredibly sore today that I'm going to use today to rest and heal and then will go to my regular crossfit class on Thursday and Friday.


Oh and I must say that going to class in the morning has another advantage.  Last night while I was there I noticed that as it got darker and darker outside that all the windows started acting like mirrors and everytime I passed a window I could see my awful reflection.  Inside I do not feel the way I look on the outside.  I am getting anxious for my outside to catch up to my thinner mental self. 

Crushed today's workout....well kinda

Felt great this morning.  I got lots of much needed sleep and woke up feeling energized and roaring to go.  It's also a gorgeous Fall day.  Clear blue sky, a light crisp wind and gorgeous Fall colors everywhere you look. 

Our warm up was a partner medicine ball run.  We used a 15 pound ball and would throw it to our partner, then run ahead about 10 feet and they throw it back.  We did that for 300 meters and then we switched to squatting and then springing up and throwing the ball to our partner and then running ahead back and forth for the last 100 meters. 

Our skill set was a KILLER!!!  We were told to grab two kettle bells, they didn't have to be the same weight.  I grabbed a 25 lb bell and an 18 lb bell.  We went outside and started walking.  J (Jonathan) told us to raise our right arm all the way up and lock out the elbow.  We walked about 20 feet and then switched arms.  Next we held both bells up by our chins and did squats.  Deep squats and then we'd stand up, over and over for a couple minutes.  Next we held both bells up above our head and walked about 100 meters.  Then we stopped and did kettle bell swings with both bells at the same time.  My arms and lungs were burning so bad!  We then started walking again, alternating arms above the head.  Next we did about 100 meters of lunges with the bells. Finally we were told to just do a farmers carry for an additional 200 meters and then go inside for the WOD.  Even though it's COLD outside, I was pouring sweat.  I was regretting the size bells I chose.....although I was able to complete the skill set, so I guess I should be pleased. 

The WOD was done with a partner. 

10-1 reps (so we'd each to 10 of each move, then 9 of each move, then 8 then 7 and so on and so forth until you get down to 1 each. 

They gave us 20 minutes to complete it. 

The exercises were
*thrusters

*pull ups

*hand release push ups

I felt great going into the workout.  I was fast.  My partner is a gal who is fairly new and is slower than me.  Although she's stronger than me in some areas, she's also slower.  If the WOD was completed then we'd have done a total of 55 of each of the moves.  We weren't able to get the last three rounds in before time was up.  So we finished 49 of each of the moves.  It was ok.  I know I could've finished the WOD with a faster partner, but all in all it was not a big deal.  We all got in an amazing workout and we tried our best and that it what it's all about. 

They're offering a new class on Tuesday nights from 6:30-7:30 called Hearts and Barbells.  All I know is that it has something to do with lots of heavy lifting.  I'm going to go tomorrow evening to check it out.  I'm a little nervous since the 9:30 am class in my safe bubble.  I know the people that go and I feel comfortable with them now.  I'm guessing there will be a ton of people I don't know attending this new class and that makes me really nervous.  Eeeek! 

I talked to him like a royal B!

I went to bed super early last night.  7pm to be exact.  I hoped that a ton of sleep would leave me feeling relaxed and refreshed.  Instead I woke up feeling exhausted.  My eyelids were not wanting to cooperate. 

I made it to crossfit this morning.  Huge accomplishment considering how I'm feeling physically and mentally.  Everything we did felt impossibly difficult.  I can tell such a big difference in my endurance and strength when I take a few days off. 

Our warm up was 5 Turkish get ups on each side and then using a slightly heavier bell we did another 3 on each side. 

Our skill set was all about pull ups and negative pull ups.  Jonathan helped me get a super thick band and work on my negative pull ups.  I felt like I was humiliating myself.  I felt weak and it pissed me off!  He told me he could tell how much better I'm getting and I just looked him straight in the eyes and in a sarcastic bitchy way said, "really?!" .  This caused him to stammer a bit and collect himself.  He said that he hadn't seen me in the last 6 weeks because he's been mostly doing evening classes but that he could see a difference in how I look since he last saw me.  At that point he pretty  much excused himself to go help some other people. 

I feel really bad for being a jerk.  I guess I just felt like he was blowing smoke up my rear.  I still feel weak and fat and stupid and lame and and and.......
Maybe he really can tell a difference and I'm just cranky and being a negative nancy. 

Anyhoo our WOD was to get in groups of 4.  Two of us had to drag the sled down and back up the alley and then do 20 meter bear crawl and 10 native jump squats.  We repeated everything twice. 

I'm dead to the world after today's class.  I hope I feel a lot more energy and strength come Friday and maybe I'll get the chance to apologize to Jonathan for being a snarky jerk.